I died once, so I’ve probably thought about death more than the average person. Well, obviously I didn’t die, but I was told my heart stopped and I was clinically dead. So, yeah, I’ve been dead before.

The subject of death plans recently came up here:

http://livinginalimitedworld.com/2016/01/11/an-important-question/

https://seachysuffers.wordpress.com/2016/01/12/death-it-will-get-me-and-you-so-why-is-it-taboo/

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Most of us will not get to choose how we die (even though most of us have chosen the way we’ve lived, which doesn’t seem fair). But, unless you’re at death’s door, there’s no way to tell when it’s our time. So, it only makes sense to be prepared for the inevitable.

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I guess a lot of people will visit an attorney to have legal documents prepared, like a will. But that’s really for people with money or property, not really for poor people, like me. Now you can find a lot of legal documents online, which you can prepare yourself, only needing to pay for a notary. In fact, hospitals have some legal documents (like DNRs) for patients to access, hopefully with an attorney available to answer questions at no charge. Now that Medicare is covering end-of-life counseling, legal assistance should become more readily available to the public.

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So, really, all I need to worry about is what I want to happen after I’m gone. That’s easy, because I don’t want to be confined in a coffin and buried under the ground — leaving cremation as the only other option. (Not that I’d want another option, like being covered in chocolate and sent into space in a cryochamber.)

But, I don’t want my ashes confined in an urn, either. And I don’t like the idea of having my ashes scattered somewhere — I don’t see any point in that, and honestly, it seems kinda gross. No, I’d just like my remains to be taken out with the trash, disposed of in an environmentally-clean way…

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Now, if I could save enough money to pay for a cremation before I need this service, that would be great. (But I don’t see that happening.)

As for funerals, I don’t like them. At one time, I thought it would be nice to request a party to celebrate my life after I die, but I no longer like that idea. Celebrate my life while I’m living — don’t wait until after I’m gone.

So, my death plans are cremation and no funeral. I do so hereby swear (to my blog), on this, the 12th day of January, 2016.

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20 thoughts on “My Death Plans”

  1. The ashes are hardly human remains any longer. I don’t see why scattering is gross. I especially don’t see why it is so prohibited in many places. It adds to most environments.

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    • Well, it’s not just ashes, there’s little bone fragments, too. Which, I guess, are just fossils. I didn’t realize the practice was prohibited, but I’m not sure how ashes would add to most environments.

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      • The carbon is great fertilizer. Ash is in a lot of fertilizer. Also, there are a lot of bone fragments, but they are burned clean. Really nothing to scoff at. It has the texture and look of kitty litter, if that isn’t odd enough. I wish I didn’t know that.

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  2. i feel the same way on some of what you said… my mom is in her tight container just so she doesn’t try to escape jk.. dad thought about being donated to science have you looked in to that gurl?…. but i think he just wants to be ashes as well but his dl states he is a donor since he feels if he can help someone out he would be happy and donate his body students can learn… me ashes it is i do not care what happens next.. my guy did a pretty kool idea with his dad and it was nice what he did was not a full service but who ever wanted to meet up at the grave site said a few words and that was it.. he did have the 21 gun … no drawn out service at the funeral home then to the grave site and the whole speech then everyone go eat at someone home.. nope none of that…
    I agree live life now and don’t waste the tears on me when i am gone and do not show up if you were not a part of my life while i was living either….
    also where his dad is in the ground they have enough sites that if dad and i want to have our ashes underground that they can put either next to my guy parents or in the ground alone in a separate space…
    Oh and money ha ha none here will be left for anyone.. I do not have insurance so again what ever is cheapest for me… dad has enough for ashes and my guy Olan has a policy and funny thing is you blog about this and we just talked to his insurance company to send out the form to chance who gets the cash since it still shows his dad lol.. we are trying to get all loose ends tied up…oh and so his half fucking no good bitch face of sister does not get a penny after all that she has done to him and keeps doing…she is evil she has a corner office in a place very hot my dear lol… she is about money and money and did i mention money and what she can get …oh i will just shut up for now gurl.. she makes our blood boil…
    so live life to the fullest as one can since the clock is a ticking lol..

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    • I don’t know what medical science would want to do with my body, considering the shape it’s in. I suppose it could be used for training purposes… is there a shortage of cadavers for doctors to work on? Because if there isn’t, then I think I’d rather not have a bunch of doctors see me naked, even if I am dead. 🙂

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  4. pretty similar plans to my own. i will put in writing no extending life under any circumstances…comfort care only….cremation–some ashes to each kid. they can decide what to do with that.

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  6. For many years, I wanted to be wealthy enough to hire an attorney to handle my estate. The attorney’s job would be simple: they get my ashes and a list of names. Their job would be to find each person and pelt them with a handful of my ashes while simultaneously saying ‘This is from – (my real name) for all the shit you gave her while she was alive.’. That little thought kept me going during my angriest times. I’ve let it go now…for the most part. 😉

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  7. Nobody likes funerals! I don’t care because I’ll be dead. I’ll have to start saving for this though. I kind of like the idea of my ashes being spread in the mountains. They did that to some of Andre’s family. They spread their ashes in the mountains.

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  8. My dad’s ashes were sprinkled into the river where he grew up and spent many idle childhood hours, and where we fished together when my bro and I were young.
    The grandchildren seemed to really like the process of writing goodbye messages on leaves, wrapping them around ashes and sending them off down river.
    The only downside was the occasional gust of wind blowing the ashes back up! But on the whole, while it wasn’t my idea, it seemed to be a good send-off with real tangible feelings associated with the physical actions of farewell.

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  9. Good topic of discussion. I have bipolar which is degenerative – psychosis and a total break with reality. My mother was mental ill. At the age of 49, dipping in and out of psychotic episodes, the only choice for her, for us, was for her to be institutionalized. She may well have lived a long life, but trapped in an asylum? No quality of life. As ill as she was, she understood and chose to take her own life. Having inherited my mother’s mental illness, and just recently been diagnosed with early symptoms of psychosis, I know at age 43, what lies in store for me. At a time of my choosing, I will depart for whatever country offers Assisted Suicide. I don’t have much family so won’t be hurting anyone with my choice. When you have a degenerative illness and you feel you have no control, it is comforting to know I can plan my own, pain-free death. And that plan is both my Retirement Plan and my Funeral Plan.

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    • I’m a planner, so having a plan means less stress for me. But I’m thinking that the treatments for mental illness have advanced since your mother’s time (even if they’re confusing and take a long time to find the right combination). Perhaps a little more hope is not unreasonable?

      Even though the right-to-die laws in the U.S. are gaining support, I’m not sure they’ll be around to help me. American laws require that a patient be diagnosed with a terminal condition to have access to this right. (Although I can’t imagine that doctors are very good at guessing when patients will die.) Last year, Canada passed a death-with-dignity law that doesn’t have the same requirement, and one or two of the European countries have these laws (I forget which).

      I’m afraid I’m on my own when it comes to planning a death with dignity. And I don’t know how I will accomplish that yet.

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