Please Join Me For Dessert

Sometimes my whipped cream icing is a little runny. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m having trouble getting it to form peaks.


Along with heavy whipping cream, sugar, powdered sugar, cocoa, and vanilla, I melt some chocolate chips with butter and add it to the icing. Because the other ingredients are so cold, the chocolate becomes tiny little chunks.


Sometimes I add a little cinnamon to the cocoa, or coffee grinds to the butter and chocolate chip mixture (before heating). The chocolate cake is made with mayonnaise instead of butter, along with hot coffee. It’s super moist.


I was using a chilled metal bowl to whip the icing, but today, I used a chilled glass bowl.


And the consistency turned out a little better.




Still tastes the same. Like chocolate mousse icing.


I think I’m in love. 🙂

There’s nothing wrong or sinful about feeling good

I believe we should have access to any and all treatments for pain, including cannabis. But I don’t want pain patients to think that if they switch to cannabis, it will be the only drug or treatment they’ll need to manage their pain. (Any drug is just one part of an overall pain management program.)

I’ve been very lucky to have access to a quality strain of cannabis in the last couple of months — one of those strains that are very hard to find. I’ve wondered if daily use of a good strain would be enough to manage my high pain levels (averaging about a 7 out of 10), but I think that’s about false hope. Cannabis is great, but it’s not a wonder drug. Of course, everyone’s experience will be different, but I think I’ve had enough experience throughout the past 3+ years to reach some conclusions.

If I had a choice (which I do not), I would probably choose a combination of cannabis and a painkiller to treat my pain. The addition of a painkiller would allow me to smoke less cannabis, and the cannabis would allow me to keep my painkiller usage to a minimum. I might even add a muscle relaxer at night, because the muscles in my face deserve more rest than I’m able to provide.

If I was able to add a painkiller to my pain management program, I might be able to take a walk every other day, instead of once or twice a week. I might be able to lose some weight. With a little extra pain relief, I might not think about death so much. I might think that I have some kind of survivable future. There’s even a possibility that I’d be able to regularly clean my toilet. (Okay, maybe not.)

When I was taking a bucket full of prescription medications, I relied on them to manage my pain. Maybe I relied on them too much, but that’s only because, out of all the treatments I’ve tried, prescription medications worked the best. I think that’s true for most people. I think it’s true that a lot of acute and chronic pain is best controlled with painkillers. (Patients aren’t given high doses of antidepressants before surgery.) Maybe the opioid war advocates would agree with me on that, but would disagree about how long we should be allowed to use opioids to manage pain. After all, according to the other side, anyone who swallows a pain pill has a high risk of becoming a drug addict. (And what’s worse than being a drug addict? Maybe a murderer?)

I read an article recently about how cannabis affects the part of the brain that deals with your sense of time. I’ve been thinking about that…

I know that being in constant pain makes time go by very slowly. Twenty-four hours feels like a week, not one day. And then I thought about the occasions that I’ve felt “high” from a drug. You know, the shameful high that almost all pain patients deny they experience with painkillers. The high that drug addicts chase on a daily basis. The high that makes you feel good artificially because it’s from a drug. The feel-good high that is really what the drug war is all about.

Within that high — a possible side effect of some drugs — is a distortion of time. That relief allows time to float, almost fly by, as if you lost 10 pounds and your feet had wings. As if a heavy burden had been lifted just a little, allowing a tiny taste of freedom inside your prison of pain. (Everyone’s prison of pain is different, caused by mental and/or physical pain.)

Does it feel good to get high? You betchya. However, it’s not like that good feeling lasts very long. But it can last long enough to, say, take a walk (or scrub your toilet). Or the high can work as an incentive — a reward for doing the painful thing that you really don’t want to do.

I suppose it’s all about what you do with the high. Those who suffer from addiction will always be chasing the high, and because of the drug war, will always be shamed and criminalized. Looked down on for suffering from a medical condition that most people think is a choice.

Those who suffer from constant pain will always be chasing after relief, and because of the drug war, we are now treated like those who suffer from addiction.

I’d just like to point out that the high I’ve been talking about gives relief to both pain patients and drug addicts. Look down on that high if you will, but it serves a purpose. The pleasure centers in our brains are there for a reason. They’re activated not only by drugs (including caffeine and chocolate), but also by things like friendship, caring, sex, love, risk, and winning.

Good feelings are part of being human. Unfortunately, so is pain. But just like humans are not meant to feel constant pleasure, we’re also not meant to be in constant pain. We’re not meant to feel depressed every single day, and if we do, that means our brains are out of balance. We’re not meant to feel constant fear and anxiety, and if we do, that means our brains need help.

Being human means we have to suffer, but when pain reaches a level where death is preferable to life, then our brains need help. Not help for a couple of weeks or months, but constant help. The pain is constant. The help has to be constant, too.

Sometimes the help we need will include the high from drugs. Let’s stop looking down on the high. There’s nothing wrong or sinful about feeling good.

Chocolate Is Better At Curing Coughs Than Honey Or Lemon

If you’ve got a cough that’s irritating your throat, lemon and honey may seem like the obvious choice, but you should be reaching for a Cadbury bar instead. Over-the-counter cough medicines that contained cocoa in them were overwhelmingly better at soothing people’s coughs than medicines without…

This seems like a good time to mention how awesome this product is:


Russell Stover’s is my favorite kind of chocolate. They’ve got the best dark chocolate and this Sea Salt Caramel is a perfect mixture of both. Total yum.

Now I’ll sit back and wait for Russell Stover to send me a large box of free chocolate for this free advertisement. 🙂

Doctorate of Chocolate Degrees Available

Learn everything there is to know about chocolate at Caca University (formerly Trump University).


A top Chocolatier can earn $100,000 a year.


When you become a Chocolate Taster, you’ll love going to work. Every. Single. Day.


Be the envy of all your friends. Call Caca University today.


Take a bite out of your future. Call Caca right now. Don’t delay. (Discounts available for Trump voters.)


Wikipedia:  A chocoholic is a person who craves or compulsively consumes chocolate. There is some medical evidence to support the existence of actual addiction to chocolate. However, the term is mostly used loosely or humorously to describe a person who is inordinately fond of chocolate… Even scientists who doubt the existence of true addiction agree that chocolate craving is real. Women are especially affected.








Hi, my name is Johnna and I’m a chocoholic. And I blame it all on my female genes. 🙂

Gluten Exclusion

Because I wanted to empathize with my friends who can’t handle gluten, I made my first flourless cake yesterday. (I was really just looking for something to put ganache on top of.) It was also my first time to try making stiff peaks with egg whites, which didn’t turn out so well. Still, it tastes pretty good, if maybe a little sweet.


It was very rich, but it seemed to be missing something…


Missing something… something… Oh, I know, flour. 🙂


These cheesecake brownies had flour (and I added a graham cracker crust), but they were just as rich as the flourless chocolate cake. If I’m going to use a recipe without flour, then I think I’d prefer a chocolate cheesecake.

Okay, you gluten freaks, I’ve proven that there is life without gluten, so stop your whining. 😀

Now, go have some unicorn hot chocolate, the “colorful beverage of your dreams”:

Appearance isn’t everything


Will you look at this poor excuse for a cake? Looks like I sat on it.


If you saw this cake in the store, you probably wouldn’t buy it. It would sit on the shelf, all lonely and depressed, until someone came along and threw it away. All because it looks kinda sad and pathetic.


You wouldn’t know how awesome this cake is until you tasted it yourself. And you wouldn’t taste all the ingredients that went into making this deliciously rich cake (like buttermilk), because all the ingredients work together in the background to compliment the most important ingredient (chocolate).


No, this cake doesn’t look like much, but looks can be deceiving. It tastes like a chocolate buttermilk pancake, all moist and soft, with ganache on top. (Like, if you look up the word “moist” in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of this buttermilk chocolate cake.)


After I took these photos, I added ice cream and Hershey’s syrup, because chocolate rules. It always has and it always will. Sure, it’s nice to have a burger and fries sometimes, but chocolate is for whenever… whenever I decide I want it. 🙂

Here’s the recipe:


From Urban Dictionary:

Napoleon Ice Cream:  An ice cream consisting of three segregated flavours of vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate, and is quite possibly the best ice cream ever conceived. The use of Napoleon over the word neapolitan (the official name of the ice cream) is a much more chic way of referring to it.





Am I always thinking about food? Could be. 🙂










Supermoon Over New Mexico

I went chasing the supermoon yesterday morning.


I guess it wasn’t a supermoon any longer, but play along.



It was a cloudy morning and the supermoon was playing hide-and-seek.




This is where I stopped to sneeze. Because supermoon. (The internet says the supermoon can make you sneeze.)






The clouds finally lifted, so the supermoon could no longer hide from me.








Here’s where I sneezed again.





When the aliens arrive, they’ll be flying in planes made of clouds.




Thanks for viewing. Now, go have some hot chocolate with marshmallows, and pretend the marshmallows are little pieces of the supermoon. 🙂

Trump Declares Free Ice Cream Day For Inauguration

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an effort to bring people together, president-elect Donald Trump has planned a special surprise for his inauguration day, January 20th. Every outlet that sells ice cream, from Baskin-Robbins to the corner gas station, will be participating in Free Ice Cream Day. Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway (and her husband) announced the new annual holiday on CNN this morning.

Not only will every American receive a free ice cream bar, but Trump has declared January 20th to be an international holiday. Ms. Conway said that any country choosing to participate will be considered friends of the new administration.

Ms. Conway went on to say that: “We want everyone to celebrate on inauguration day, no matter who they voted for. Get a free ice cream at your nearest local store, then join your friends and family in watching history take place. Donald Trump will be the best president ever and we will all benefit for the next four years, starting on January 20th. Free Ice Cream Day is just the beginning.”

Ms. Conway’s husband will be one of the street vendors in Washington on inauguration day. He said he’ll be selling Trump novelty items, like a pink, frilly apron that says, “Trump This, Daddy.” Also among the items for sale by Ms. Conway’s husband is a coffee mug that states, “I Am The Man.”

CNN also reported that some countries have already agreed to participate in Free Ice Cream Day, including Scotland, Germany, and North Vietnam. No word yet from Russia.


What does cannabis withdrawal feel like?

If you want to know how a medication is affecting you, you can always stop taking it. Having to go without will definitely show you if the medication was helping or not. And it will also show you how dependent you are on that medication.

I use cannabis every day to treat my intractable pain. So, when I don’t have it, I go through a type of withdrawal. I get really sad and cry a lot, often for no apparent reason. I smoke cigarettes like there’s no tomorrow. My insomnia gets worse. I see no point in making any kind of plan for the day because I have no pain relief waiting for me. I lose my appetite, even for chocolate. I don’t want to eat because eating hurts my jaw joints, face, head, and neck. Don’t even try to ask me to smile.

After 3 or 4 days without bud, the sadness dims and is replaced by anger. I’m always surprised at how much anger there is inside of me, so closely contained, just waiting to burst free. Anger, frustration, irritation, and sometimes, even hate. I absolutely hated having to depend on a doctor for my pain relief, and it’s no fun now, having to rely on an underground bud connection.

Yes, bud helps me control my anger. It helps to manage my dark and suicidal thoughts. It puts me in the mood to find just about anything funny. It distracts me from the constant pain. It makes chocolate taste better, if that’s even possible. And it even helps me cut back on smoking cigarettes.

Even though I’m a non-violent person, right now, without bud, I could seriously punch someone. Being poor really sucks, but being in unrelieved, constant pain sucks more.

But is this withdrawal, or is this just my normal, painful state of being? If it is withdrawal, it’s not that bad. Doesn’t last that long. I’ve taken a lot of different drugs to treat pain in the past 30 years, and I’d have to say that the withdrawal from cannabis is no big deal. As long as I know that I’ll have access to it again in the near future, I’ll be okay…

But seriously, right now, stay the fuck out of my way.