Not looking forward to the Cosby trial

Are you prepared for next year, when Bill Cosby will be put on trial? Are you prepared for Cosby News 24/7? I suppose it will be just like these famous trials:

Well, this is our justice system — a day late and a dollar short (an obvious understatement). I know Mr. Cosby is innocent until proven guilty, but I’m inclined to believe the gazillion women who were brave enough to come forward.

To the victims who suffer from PTSD, depression, or addiction because of Mr. Cosby, I am thinking about you. (Try bud, it works great.)

Do you think white supremacy groups will gather in front of the courthouse? I’m very sad for the black community, but just keep in mind that more white men are on that top 20 list of famous trials than black or Latino.

Mr. Cosby and his family have had a wonderful life. I suppose the public never really knew him. (Makes me wonder if I’m wrong about what a great guy Bradley Cooper is.) At 78, I don’t know if Mr. Cosby is still raping women or if he’s a danger to the public, but for all those victims, this is what justice looks like.

Kinda sucks, huh?

Now, I look back at all the people who must have known about Mr. Cosby and yet did nothing. Reminds me of the stories of college rape, where bystanders think it’s okay to also do nothing. I don’t know if that’s how rich people live or what, but that’s just screwed up.

Mrs. Cosby is standing by her man — so far. I suppose there will be comparisons to the Clintons, and how there are many women who think Mrs. Clinton was a fool for sticking around. Seems to me that the Clintons had an arrangement; which, in my mind, is their private business. I wonder, did the Cosbys have a similar arrangement? She keeps quiet and enjoys the status and privilege, turning her back on her husband’s criminal activities. (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.)

Well, for me, the trial is just a formality (and a media money maker). I don’t really want to learn any more about how these kind of people live — I’ll never run into anyone like them. But it makes me feel very sad for all the women in Hollywood (and in the music industry), knowing what they have to put up with to follow their dreams.


“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” Douglas Adams

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“Time is flying never to return.” Virgil

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“I could have gone on flying through space forever.” Yuri Gagarin

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“I hate flying. Know why? Because no one really understands how planes actually work.” Adam Levine

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“When you launch in a rocket, you’re not really flying that rocket. You’re just sort of hanging on.” Michael P. Anderson


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Happy Valentine’s Day

Who likes Valentine’s Day? In December?

Talk about drug pushers — candy makers not only get one side of an aisle all to themselves for holiday candy at Walmart:

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There’s also another whole aisle of everyday candy. But sugar is a legal drug and doesn’t kill anyone… immediately. (Kinda like chronic pain.)

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Chocolate:  An effective treatment for chronic pain. Unfortunately, the effect only lasts for a very short time — maybe a few seconds (or minutes, if you’re lucky).

(Photos taken 12/28/2015.)

To Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders

Posted today on the Facebook pages for each candidate, found here:

If more people die from suicide than from opioid-related causes, which is the epidemic? While on the campaign trail, do you ever get the chance to talk to disabled pain patients to hear our side of the opioid war? I don’t want to become a martyr, like Emily Wilding Davison, nor do I want any other pain patients to become desperate enough to fight back with martyrdom — like Thomas Murphy, the veteran who tragically took his life this year in Phoenix. There are casualties in every war, but unlike the majority of victims in the war against marijuana, the opioid war’s casualties will be mostly white. How are poor, disabled pain patients supposed to fight back? Since Mrs. Clinton/Mr. Sanders is fighting on the side of the opioid war, I think it’s only fair that she/he also advocate for a federal right-to-die law. Sincerely, a 30-year intractable pain survivor in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

“I would rather be a rebel than a slave.”

Suffragette is a movie about women. About the strength of women bonded together for a common cause — the right to vote. About what women in history were willing to go through, to sacrifice, for the right to be treated equally. About how, after 50 years of fighting for this right, it took the death of one of these amazingly courageous women to begin to see a change.

This suffragette, Emily Wilding Davison, committed suicide and became a martyr, just for the right to vote. (“All she had, she gave to others” was the sign on her casket.)

“It is hugely significant as a moment in history, a moment that absolutely sums up the desperation of women in this country who wanted the vote.”

From the movie:

“Emily Wilding Davison’s death was reported across the world. It drew global attention to the fight for women’s rights. It was a fight that led to the imprisonment of more than 1,000 British women.”

Considering the very low percentage of women who vote in this country, it almost seems like these sacrifices were made in vain.

Is there a cause worth dying for in this day and age? Today, it appears that only the extremists in our society are willing to go to such lengths, regardless of the insanity of their causes.

I look into what the future holds for chronic pain patients and I wonder if there is anyone, male or female, willing to make this kind of sacrifice. I can recall only one story that I’ve read about a pain patient — a veteran — who tried to make a statement about the opioid war through suicide. But it’s not like anyone paid attention to that story:

“I think he’s a martyr for what he did,” veteran Brandon Coleman said of Thomas Murphy, who tragically took his life while sitting in the parking lot of the VA administrative offices in downtown Phoenix.”

How desperate do pain patients have to become before we start fighting back? How long will it take for us to win this war and regain our rights? How can anyone fight powerful forces like the DEA and CDC?

Watch this movie. These women fought forces much more powerful than the DEA. They were beaten and bloodied by the police, imprisoned, and force fed — all because they were fighting for the right to vote. For 50 years, women fought the respectable fight. But as they found out, it takes a lot more to make a difference.

One line in the movie says it all:

“I would rather be a rebel than a slave.”

The experience of chronic pain. Every. Single. Day.

If you don’t suffer from chronic pain, you can only imagine what the experience would be like. How to explain in a way that others can understand?

I think there are three types of pain:  acute, chronic, and terminal. Every human being will experience acute pain within their lifetimes. As an example of acute pain, let’s look at grief.

Everyone will also experience grief in their lifetime. When a loved one is lost, the first day of grief is acute. The pain is raw and overwhelming. You feel like things will never get better — that this incredibly strong pain will last forever. That pain can bring you to your knees… You feel like there’s a hole in your soul that will never heal…

But for most people, the acute pain of grief begins to subside with time. Of course, that doesn’t happen when you suffer from chronic pain (or depression and other chronic illnesses).

Just imagine what it would be like to suffer the acute pain from grief… Every. Single. Day. Imagine how it would feel to live inside that bubble of pain, with no way out. Just an ever-expanding bubble of pain, enclosing your body, heart, and soul…

It’s hard to find things to live for when you live inside this bubble of pain, yet it’s something that pain patients struggle to do…  Every. Single. Day. We’re not always successful, and the struggle is often ugly and depressing. But it’s the truth.

20 Extremely Well-Mannered Insults To Use On Your Worst Enemy

1. May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.

4. May your article load that extra little bit as you’re about to click a link so you click an ad instead.

15. May your cookie always be slightly too large to fit inside your glass of milk.

18. May you never be quite certain whether that pressure is a fart or poop.

The Incredible Story Of Marilyn Monroe’s Perseverance

Marilyn never knew her father. Her mother, Gladys, struggled with poor mental health, and was institutionalized before Marilyn (then known as Norma Jeane Baker) reached the age of 10.

Marilyn was first placed in the care of Wayne and Ida Bolender, who, according to Marilyn, were incredibly religious, to the point of approaching zealousness. As young Norma Jeane, she had to attend church multiple times a week, promise to never drink or swear, and was told repeatedly that she was going to Hell.

But these were not the only caretakers Marilyn Monroe had. She lived primarily in an orphanage, and had 11 sets of foster parents throughout her lifetime…

Life in foster care was bleak. She was often mistreated, and not cared for properly. In 1937, she was rescued by Grace McKee Goddard, when she took Marilyn out of foster care to live with her and Doc Goddard. Everything looked like it was going to be a lot better…

But eventually, Marilyn’s new family decided to move. Marilyn was devastated. This meant she would have to go back into foster care. However, with the help of Grace, Marilyn made a plan. To get married. If she could tie the knot by 16, she could escape foster care forever. And that’s exactly what she did.

In December 1941, Grace asked Jim to escort Norma Jeane to a company Christmas dance. By March, they were going steady, by May they were engaged. In June, less than three weeks after her Birthday, Norma Jeane Baker became Mrs James Dougherty.

She later followed her new husband to the South Pacific, and began working at an aircraft plant, and was discovered shortly after by photographer David Conover, who had been sent by the U.S. Army Air Forces’ First Motion Picture Unit to shoot morale-boosting pictures of female workers…

People admired her not only for being a sex symbol, but also for her genuine and honest characteristics. Due to not being fed with a silver spoon, she was able to capture the hearts of many who could feel her vulnerable but humane energy. She humbly stated “Nothing’s ever easy as long as you go on living.” …

But despite the glamorous photo spreads and sexual icon status, she spent much of her life in chronic pain due to endometriosis , suffering miscarriages , reportedly having at least one ectopic pregnancy and becoming addicted to pain killers. There was even one story that before going into one of her surgeries related to her infertility issues, she taped a note to her stomach, pleading with doctors not to take her female parts.

A few years ago, the Endometriosis Association was even bold enough to suggest that Marilyn’s infertility may have indirectly contributed to her death: “Marilyn Monroe was a victim of endometriosis, putting her in the hospital repeatedly, contributing to her use of pain-deadening narcotics and aggravating her psychological problems.” …

(2008) Recognising, understanding and managing endometriosis

Endometriosis is a chronic recurring disease that is often left undiagnosed. A high level of suspicion is required in women who present with pelvic pain.

‘One of the most famous sufferers from endometriosis was Marilyn Monroe. The condition was so severe that it destroyed her marriages, her wish for children, her career and ultimately her life. In days before effective conservative surgery or effective medical therapies, it led to progressively increasing use of strong analgesics, tranquilisers and hypnotics – and drug dependency.’ …

No help at the CDC help desk

Entered on 12/28/2015 at 12:14:31 EST (GMT-0500) by Pat M:

Ms Stahl,

For questions on the status of comments submitted to the CDC on the Federal Register notice entitled “Proposed 2016 Guideline for Prescribing Opioids for Chronic Pain” please contact the agency representative listed in the For Further Information Contact section of the Federal Register directly:

Arlene I. Greenspan

National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

4770 Buford Highway NE.

Mailstop F-63

Atlanta, GA 30341

Telephone: 770-488-4696

If you need additional assistance in searching for documents or submitting a comment, please reply to this e-mail or call the Help Desk at 1-877-378-5457, Monday through Friday, from 9:00 am until 5:00 pm, Eastern Time.

Thank you, Help Desk


Entered on 12/28/2015 at 17:57:15 EST (GMT-0500) by

I don’t have a phone, and if I mailed my question, I wouldn’t receive an answer until after the January 13th deadline. Could you please give me Ms. Greenspan’s email address?

Entered on 12/28/2015 at 18:00:40 EST (GMT-0500) by

There’s no reply in this email. Hello? May I have Ms. Greenspan’s email address?

Entered on 12/28/2015 at 18:06:36 EST (GMT-0500) by

I am typing my text above that line, but I’m still not getting a response to my question. What seems to be the problem?

Entered on 12/28/2015 at 18:09:35 EST (GMT-0500) by

Are you messing with me, or what? Please know that I will be posting all these non-responses on my blog, easily searchable in Google.


The help desk kept sending my email back with no response. So, this was my last email to them:

Sorry, but you deserve this: Fuck you.

Let this be a lesson to the CDC:  This is what happens when you fuck with someone in constant pain.

So, I’m never going to find out why my comments were banned. Great. Wonderful. Why did I even try?

Spotlight on sexual abuse in the Catholic church

Spotlight is a movie about the pedophile scandal in the Catholic church and the reporters at The Boston Globe who covered it in 2002. It’s obviously a horror story, but it’s also a story about the media and what it takes to cover a story like this.

Are there any reporters like this left in the media? I think not. If there were, the tragic stories of pain patients would be front-page news. Instead, all of the stories coming out of Massachusetts, including from The Boston Globe, are about heroin and drug addiction.

I think it’s important to point out that many of the Catholic church’s victims suffer from depression and addiction.

At the end of the movie, there’s a list of all the places where major abuse scandals have also been uncovered, including Santa Fe and Gallup, New Mexico. I think the saddest part of the whole movie is the end result: In Boston, where there were 249 publicly accused priests and an estimated 1,000 victims, the Cardinal in charge of the Boston Archdiocese resigned and was reassigned to one of the highest ranking Roman Catholic churches in the world — in Rome.

(12/22/2015) Religion has been causing conflicts for more than 2,000 years

CDC Help Desk

Mon, Dec 28, 2015 4:40 am

Re: Proposed 2016 Guideline for Prescribing Opioids for Chronic Pain

Re: Docket ID: CDC-2015-0112

Please inform me of the process for tracking my comments, only one of which has been approved, and how to find out why they have been censored by the CDC.

Thank you,
Johnna Stahl