rob delaney ✔ @robdelaney
What flavor vape oil are you leaving out for Santa this year?
Sam Grittner @SamGrittner
Every year for Christmas I ask Satan to cure me of my dyslexia.
♡Very Respectful Guy @SortaBad
If you don’t have a chimney Santa just bursts through your walls like the Kool-Aid Man
jomny sun @jonnysun
ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it
WIFE: well santas not real, hun
ME: [drops cookie] WHAT
Cliff Bleszinski ✔ @therealcliffyb
Based upon the altitude, speed, and open design of that sled Santa would be dead of hyopthermia after taking off.
Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22
A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, “Looks like Santa lost his temper again.”