30 thoughts on “Watching Butter Melt”

        • Now, I know you’re not lazy, so the only conclusion I can come to is that you don’t love food as much as I do. Which means you don’t get as much pleasure out of food as I do. Which probably means that you need to have more sex. There you go, you’ve gotten a free reading from an amateur fortune teller. Better than a doctor. Go have more sex and call me in the morning. 🙂

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        • Ha. I don’t like to get out of my house and you’re right. I don’t particularly like food at this point. I lost my appetite four years ago and have never really gotten it back.
          Sex? No thank you. When you’ve been married to somebody like Loser for forty-one years, you kind of lose your appetite for that too.

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        • I think I can safely say that Loser wasn’t any good in bed, selfish prick that he is. So, you really haven’t had good sex yet, which is a real shame. Oh, I suppose you think you need to be in love to have sex. (Or that you need a partner.) Maybe you don’t love yourself enough to want that kind of pleasure? Think about it. 😀

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        • Loving myself has nothing to do with it. I’m just not one to have casual sex. I never was…and I took my marriage vows seriously. He just ruined everything for me. I cringe at the very thought of ever being touched by another man. It would sicken me, I think.

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        • I’m surprised that you would let Loser have so much power over you. He doesn’t own your sexuality. And he never owned your body. Sex is never casual, even if you have it with a stranger. It always means something. Maybe I should’ve just suggested a massage. 🙂

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        • Dude, everybody has bones. It’s fat people who are hard to massage. Can’t find the muscle, which is what needs attention. I’ve been typing since I was 14 years old. Got really strong hands. If you were ever to come visit me, I would give you a free massage. I ain’t ascared of your bones. 🙂

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        • Deal! My bones show but I keep them hidden under my clothes. I never wear short sleeves or shorts anymore. The last time I saw Loser, he put his hand all the way around my arm and wrinkled up his nose…like he was disgusted or something.
          I am okay. I would so much rather be alone than live with a lying, cheating, disease-giving, tramp-loving maggot. 🙂

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        • Let me tell you a little story…

          Many (many) years ago, I brought a quilt over to my mother’s house so she could repair it. (She has a sewing machine.) She told one of my sisters that it stunk like pot. (Like she was disgusted or something.) It was shortly after that when I decided to treat my pain with prescription medications instead of cannabis, which I can’t say was a great idea. But I can say that my family’s attitude about pot was something that influenced me, perhaps in the wrong direction.

          What I’m trying to say is that it was hard to let go of the power that certain people had over my life just because I loved them. I understand that over 4 decades worth of power would be hard to let go of, but I hope you can work on it. The Loser has way too much power over you, even now, and I find that very sad. What the fuck do you care about what he thinks?

          I’ll give you the advice that one of my ex-therapists gave me: Write “Let Go!” on a bunch of sticky notes and post them all around your home. You can’t really let go of your past, but you can let go of its power over you. I swear. I’ve done it. 🙂

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        • I don’t care what he thinks. I care about what he had said and done…especially when it comes to my children. They have all chosen him and that WTC because of all the lies they have told. Loser loves to tell my children that I am “insane.”
          He was NEVER around when they were growing up. I was ALWAYS there. My poor son, the only one I have, became an alcoholic because the one thing he needed and craved was attention and affection from that piece of shit sperm donor.
          Now that Loser has found that WTC, he is pretending to care about his children, to impress that WTC.
          His grandchildren meant nothing to him. He called my grandson a “half-breed.” When he found out how smart he was, suddenly, he was “acceptable” and of course, he got his brains from Loser.
          This year….my children are driving more than ten hours to see Loser, that WTC, Losers’ abusive drunken mama and get this….my sister.
          Not one of them called, texted, sent a card or an email to me.
          He took everything from me.
          If I could….I would call on all the Gods of revenge to strike him with swift justice.
          So, yeah….he has power in that he took my precious children from me.
          That WTC? She used to send me pictures of them together, with notes saying “just so you understand. He belongs to me now.”
          She made sure I knew he was taking her to Denmark and Norway. She also made sure that I knew that last year he was “taking her to spend the holidays with my children.” Then, she asked “what are you going to be doing?”

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        • The best revenge against Loser would be to live your own life and to find your own happiness. (I have a feeling that he would hate to be ignored.) You can’t count on other people to make you happy — even if they are related to you. I realize that your ties to Loser and your kids will never be broken, but I can’t help but wish that you could somehow inhabit another body and live another life. Let go of it all and start again. That’s my wish for you.

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        • He does hate to be ignored…for a while. He was outraged when I wouldn’t tell him where I was going to be living. He said it was because he cared. LOL
          I told him it was because he could not deal with losing that bit of control. The control of knowing where I was.
          His girlfriend in college left him and he spent forty years trying to find her. When he did, he raised his fist and said “yes!” It was about nothing more than now he had back the control that she took away from him.
          If I’m living well or not living well, he would never know. The only source of information he had was my children. When they chose him….I let them go.

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        • Of course Loser would know because you’d be different. When he loses all control over you, some of the lines on your face will disappear. You’ll walk around with a little bit of a smile on the corner of your mouth, always waiting to burst into a full smile. Your posture, especially your shoulders, will be more relaxed. Your eyes will tell everyone you meet that you’re just fine.

          How do I know this? I have a sister who was in a similar situation. When she finally let go of her ex’s power over her, she became a different person. It was wonderful to witness, but the process was never easy. It was gut-wrenching at times. But nevertheless, it was a miracle. 🙂

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        • I never see him. I will never see him again. I have no idea what he looks like now. I know that the last time I saw him, he greatly resembled all the thugs that hang out at the bar where he picked up that WTC.
          I would imagine he has a ponytail and an earring…and maybe her name tattooed on his butt. He will do anything to keep her around…pay all her bills, taxes, tuition…because if he doesn’t, she punishes him and threatens to leave him.
          But, she’s the kind of woman he likes…trashy. LOL

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        • Your story and my sister’s is very similar. Her husband left her and 3 kids for some cheap skank (with more kids, if you can believe it). Broke his Catholic parents’ hearts, not that they stopped treating him like he walked on water. At first it seemed like a mid-life crisis, but nah, I think he’s just a dick. But my sister loved him, don’t know why. Probably still does, even though this was not the first time he had cheated on her.

          I have never given a man that much power over me, maybe because I’ve never been in love. Would you have given up every one of those 41 years with Loser if you knew it would end this way? Would you have given up being in love, knowing how hard it is to find?

          Can’t change the past. Why dwell in it? Your life is about you now, while in the past, it was never about you. It’s an opportunity, right?

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        • I left Loser when I discovered that he had been unfaithful 18 years earlier and given me an incurable STD. I wasn’t promiscuous when I was younger and i didn’t know what it was. I thought I was dirty.
          If I ever did love him, he killed it the first week we were married but I honored my vows.
          I admired his intelligence and later, I admired his money, which he said was there to take the place of him. He was always gone or at the bar drinking and picking up tramps (which I didn’t know at the time.)
          Would I give up those 41 years? In a heartbeat. I paid all the dues, hoping that one day when he retired, there would be time for me. Instead, some tramp is getting the membership.
          Now, understand, he didn’t want to get divorced. He refused every time I asked.
          He told me about this WTC on Christmas in ’12. Again, he refused to talk about divorce but he actually thought he was going to be allowed to bring her to my house, sleep with her in MY bed while I slept on my sofa and I was going to be okay with it. LOL He paid a price for it though. She didn’t want him to come see me and his children and when he defied her wishes, she punished him for a month. She also told him that he had better never choose his wife and children over her again. He never did.
          What a peach.

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        • Your Loser sounds boring and I’m tired of talking about him. I challenge you to go one whole week without having a single thought about him or your kids. One whole week. Seven complete days. If you can do it, you win a prize (to be determined at a later date). 🙂

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        • I don’t think you can do it, so I won’t worry about your prize right now. I’ll have to take your word for it if you are successful, so no cheating. 🙂

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  4. Damn it gurl!!!…I love bread….and homemade bread buns stuffed…omg…looks amazing and now I want hot warm bread….I wasn’t hungry until I seen this post…I will have to blame you for any weight I gain…yuppers your fault..lol

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