Look, It’s A Windmill!

Photo taken 7/4/2015, when I went to the grower’s market.  I hobbled down the short side street next to the parking lot, past the signs that said “Cat Crossing” and “Private Drive.”  And I would’ve gotten a closer shot of the windmill, but there were two large dogs barking their heads off in the yard next door, obviously very unhappy with my presence.

Thinking of you, Michelle Watt




MICHELLE WATT, the TV presenter, took her own life because of chronic headaches caused by a spinal operation, her father has revealed.

Describing his daughter as “the most wonderful girl in the world”, boxing commentator Jim Watt said that she became depressed following a lumbar puncture last year which left her in agonising pain and unable to eat or sleep properly.

Michelle, a mother-of-one, had the surgery to test for problems affecting her brain which had caused headaches and blackouts.

The 38-year-old former 60 Minute Makeover host was found dead at her home in Airth, near Falkirk last week…

“There was a problem with her optical nerve so they gave her the lumbar puncture to check for things like pressure on the brain. From that point her life was horrendous.”

Michelle, who also worked on programmes including Scottish dating show Club Cupid and STV’s The Hour, is survived by her husband Paul Kerr, 43, and their five-year-old girl.

Mr Watt pointed out Michelle’s problems since the operation had also affected George Clooney, leaving him suicidal. He said: “I remember someone said Clooney had the same procedure and the pain made him contemplate killing himself”…

Under comments:

mark ibsen, on July 4, 2015 at 3:56 pm said:
Pain is a fucking terrorist.

Bipolar and Memory Loss


For Bipolar sufferers, the part of the brain that stores memory is much smaller than usual, making the formation of memory, management of emotion, and learning difficult.

Studies found that a particular protein (Rap1) which participates in the formation of long-term memories, is lacking in the brains of those of us diagnosed with Bipolar…


Pain in the lower back, neck, head, legs and joints are very common in those of us diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder as well as headaches or migraines. Personally speaking, the aches can often feel very similar to having the Flu…

Psychiatric disorders are often associated with, or sometimes even caused in part by, abnormal changes in the way we process pain. Neurochemical changes in the brain that occur as a result of Bipolar Disorder can also increase pain by making an individual more sensitive to pain. The Depressive phases of Bipolar can also magnify pain, making it more difficult to carry on with normal daily activities…


Low Nociceptor GRK2 Prolongs Prostaglandin E2 Hyperalgesia via Biased cAMP Signaling to Epac/Rap1, Protein Kinase Cε, and MEK/ERK

Hyperexcitability of peripheral nociceptive pathways is often associated with inflammation and is an important mechanism underlying inflammatory pain…

Neurological science reads like gibberish to me, but I just wanted to point out that the memory problems found in chronic pain patients are similar to those found in depression and bipolar.

I Deserve To Breathe!


I’m angry at my body, and I feel betrayed by my body, because the way in which it’s responding to the processing and trauma work I’m doing in therapy. It does not feel okay. My thoughts and feelings and body sensations are unfamiliar and strange and overwhelming and uncomfortable. There is no way I can see them as biologically normal or expected. I see them as pain- excruciating pain. It is shame and disgust and anger and fear and sadness and betrayal. I don’t know how to trust my body when right now, I’m terrified of it…

We all deal with pain in different ways. Sometimes, that means drowning further in it. But we all have to come up for air at some point. To do that, we must embrace the idea that we deserve to breathe. The next time you want to engage in destructive behavior, just say to yourself:

“I Deserve To Breathe!”