Doctorate of Chocolate Degrees Available

Learn everything there is to know about chocolate at Caca University (formerly Trump University).

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A top Chocolatier can earn $100,000 a year.

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When you become a Chocolate Taster, you’ll love going to work. Every. Single. Day.

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Be the envy of all your friends. Call Caca University today.

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Take a bite out of your future. Call Caca right now. Don’t delay. (Discounts available for Trump voters.)

Trump to Start Blogging Because of PokéTrump

TOKYO, JAPAN (Rueters) — Nintendo and The Pokémon Company have announced a new game called PokéTrump, available for sale on inauguration day, January 20th. The game allows users to locate and tag anyone within a 5-mile radius who voted for Donald Trump. For each voter identified, the user receives one trading card.

PokéTrump trading cards feature different sayings that Trump has made infamous, including “Grab ’em by the pussy.” Each card shows Trump wearing a different colored toupee, with names like BabyBlue, Orange Cheetoz, and Purple Infernal.

The most sought-after trading card is the GoldMan PokéTrump, which shows Trump sporting a sparkling gold toupee. Only a GoldMan can transform into a stronger species of PokéTrump and enter Trumpsterland, a process called backwards evolution. Once this process has been completed, a GoldMan has the power to lie, steal, cheat, and grab pussy without any interference from the politicians and billionaires who also live in Trumpsterland.

Upon entering Trumpsterland, a GoldMan must choose a country to run. He can create his own country, or if he wants to run a country that already has a ruler, the GoldMan must recruit an army to fight his war. He can fund the war himself, but almost all choose to obtain cheap funding from other groups or countries interested in upsetting the current world order.

Apps that can be used in combination with PokéTrump include Trigger, which sends an alert to your phone when Trump tweets about certain stocks.

WikiLeaks and Twitter joined up to create an app which can identify a Twitter user as a Trump voter, automatically exchanging the user’s avatar or logo in your feed with a selection of Trump buttons. So far, the most popular Trump button on Twitter is “I Voted For White Kanye.”

In response to the news, Donald Trump said that Twitter and WikiLeaks are “overrated” and “losers.” He also said that only kids play computer games, ending with proclaiming his intention to “dump” Twitter and start blogging.

“Play that funky white boy music”: A racist and/or 1%-er who is lying through their teeth. “There goes Trump again, playing that funky white boy music.” 🙂

#WomenStrike

http://www.mic.com/articles/164657/women-won-t-just-march-to-protest-donald-trump-s-inauguration-they-re-going-on-strike#.vAJC8dFJe

And so, on the weekend of Donald Trump’s inauguration American women are going on strike. On Jan. 20 and 21, women will abstain from not just work, but domestic labor, in order to demonstrate the political power of women to shut down not just the workplace, but the home as well…

The strike doesn’t just support walking out from your job and preventing economic exploitation, but also disrupting unpaid emotional and domestic labor that women are expected to perform as default societal function…

There have been several recent successful women’s strikes in Europe. In Poland, thousands of women took to the streets for the Black Monday protest for abortion rights, and eventually helping to stop a potential abortion ban in its tracks. In 1975, a full 90% of the women in Iceland held a strike, and now the country’s women strike on Oct. 24 to protest the national pay gap…

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http://www.womenstrike.org/

I pledge to not spend any money on January 20th and 21st, not at Walgreens, Walmart, Taco Cabana, or online. (If I had a partner, I would make him clean all day long, including scrubbing the toilet twice.) #WomenStrike

If you don’t like snow, you might be an alien

Did you know that most aliens don’t like the snow? So, if you don’t like snow, you might be an alien. But there’s another way you can check to see if you’re really an alien…

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Meet one of my alien friends (who doesn’t like the snow):

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My friend tells me that aliens have two belly buttons: one on the stomach and one on the ass.

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Looks like I might be an alien. 🙂

FoodPicsRUs

Bring your culinary creations over to FoodPicsRUs.

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We can make any dish look delightful.

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More than one background to choose from.

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Props are available for an extra charge.

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Impress your friends with elegant food porn.

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My Dictionary:
OMFG: when something is so good, there are no words to describe it.

Urban Dictionary:
OMFG: a handy mnemonic for remembering the ingredients of a greek salad
OMFG: Olives, Mayo, Feta, Garlic