TOKYO, JAPAN (Rueters) — Nintendo and The Pokémon Company have announced a new game called PokéTrump, available for sale on inauguration day, January 20th. The game allows users to locate and tag anyone within a 5-mile radius who voted for Donald Trump. For each voter identified, the user receives one trading card.
PokéTrump trading cards feature different sayings that Trump has made infamous, including “Grab ’em by the pussy.” Each card shows Trump wearing a different colored toupee, with names like BabyBlue, Orange Cheetoz, and Purple Infernal.
The most sought-after trading card is the GoldMan PokéTrump, which shows Trump sporting a sparkling gold toupee. Only a GoldMan can transform into a stronger species of PokéTrump and enter Trumpsterland, a process called backwards evolution. Once this process has been completed, a GoldMan has the power to lie, steal, cheat, and grab pussy without any interference from the politicians and billionaires who also live in Trumpsterland.
Upon entering Trumpsterland, a GoldMan must choose a country to run. He can create his own country, or if he wants to run a country that already has a ruler, the GoldMan must recruit an army to fight his war. He can fund the war himself, but almost all choose to obtain cheap funding from other groups or countries interested in upsetting the current world order.
Apps that can be used in combination with PokéTrump include Trigger, which sends an alert to your phone when Trump tweets about certain stocks.
WikiLeaks and Twitter joined up to create an app which can identify a Twitter user as a Trump voter, automatically exchanging the user’s avatar or logo in your feed with a selection of Trump buttons. So far, the most popular Trump button on Twitter is “I Voted For White Kanye.”
In response to the news, Donald Trump said that Twitter and WikiLeaks are “overrated” and “losers.” He also said that only kids play computer games, ending with proclaiming his intention to “dump” Twitter and start blogging.
“Play that funky white boy music”: A racist and/or 1%-er who is lying through their teeth. “There goes Trump again, playing that funky white boy music.” 🙂