How do you feel about spanking?

http://www.today.com/parents/france-just-made-spanking-your-kid-illegal-t106715

Studies have shown that spanking basically doesn’t work: It can not only impair a child’s IQ and their overall ability to learn, but it can also lead to low self esteem, aggressive behaviors and substance abuse and addiction problems in later years.

According to a June 2016 study that appeared in the Journal of Family Psychology, more than five decades of research revealed that children who were spanked were more likely to encounter mental health and cognitive difficulties and obstacles, become anti-social and introverted, and were more likely to defy their parents.

Reports have revealed that, since 1986, the practice of spanking children has decreased among women. However, parents across the U.S. say they still approve of spanking as a form of discipline…

I’m very thankful that spanking was not a part of my upbringing. If you hit a stranger, it’s considered criminal battery. Why not the same for your own child? What can a child learn when violence is used as a reinforcement? Spanking is about bullying, not about teaching. It’s about who has the most power in a parent/child relationship.

Don’t hit your kids. Don’t hit your pets. Spanking is not an educational tool. It creates anger and resentment, and just makes the victim want to hit you back. And if they can’t hit you back, they’ll take it out on someone else.

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43 thoughts on “How do you feel about spanking?

  1. I was spanked. I don’t think it did anything but make me resentful and defiant. I don’t spank my kids, but I do believe in rewards for positive enforcement, and I found each of my kids (3) has a different currency to encourage positive behaviors. Negative actions (lying, not doing their chores, not doing their schoolwork) lead to the use of their “currency”.
    Let’s just say my oldest could do more push ups than any boy in her middle school.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Do you think it might be different for boys? I’ve met many men who say they were beaten, and yet some of them think it was good for them. I think they’re just fooling themselves, but men are pretty good at that.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t, actually. My middle child was a boy (well, he still is, but he’s almost 23 and bigger than me now!) and I think spanking him would have done more damage than for my oldest daughter.

        Liked by 2 people

        • I tried to spank my son once. I was at the end of my rope and his father suggested it. I cried more than he did. I didn’t like that feeling at all. But my son obviously needed more discipline than I could dish out. Logic didn’t work very well with him. 🙂

          Like

        • I’m enjoying views of the snow. I tried to take a walk, but it was too slippery. I still haven’t cleaned my toilet, but I did find time to order some of my favorite fragrance oil (apple). I refuse to feel bad about splurging, especially because I need it for aromatherapy. Weed smells good, but not all the time. And I can’t bake stuffing buns everyday so my apartment will smell like yeast.

          The bad news is that some dudes were making a lot of noise today fixing something right outside my front door. Hammers. Saw noises. We can put people on the moon, but we can’t figure out how to make quieter tools. My head hurts and my apple fragrance oil doesn’t arrive until next week…

          Things could be worse. 🙂 What’s the weather like where you are?

          Liked by 1 person

        • Oh you got snow as well gurl…we had flurries started to stick to the ground…I love it..it made my bad day better..lol..
          yeah you have to be safe gurl..you live to far from me to help you if you break a foot lol…
          gurl that toilet can wait I am sure since it’s just you it doesn’t get that dirty..try living with 2 men…lol..well really we clean ours everyday…I do it and my better half does it too…since dad will piss all over the rim..I think he takes his dick out and when he has to pee slings his dick in circles …lol..poor toilet …
          Do you have an oil burner thingy??? OMG I love the smell of apple too…when better half gets me candles he gets me apple and apple something lol..I love sandlewood to that is what dad got me the other day sandlewood and vanilla its not as strong as the apple…you can smell it in my room but the apple all thru the house…Nope you deserve it gurl..and yes weed gets old lol…
          oh how I want fresh homemade bread…I may have to go shopping with better half next time and pick those things up lol…
          Well you know men and the tools…the bigger and louder they are the bigger that they think they are men ahaha…sorry about your head hurting gurl…I am sure after all that noise I would be ready to kill…and the question is…did they really fix anything or like some men just act like it lololol…
          Yes things could always be worse gurl…
          I just want to go home and have it be my home again with my oil burners my space…you know things like that…
          Make sure you take pictures of your apple oil burner gurl…
          Did you get a lot of snow???…I am hoping that we get more 2morrow I mean cover the yard and roads and drink hot coco…
          We are having a late dinner even tho it was done around 2:00 we having homemade chili …after everything was mixed better half put in the crock pot all day long…has a nice lil kick after the fact …yummy…

          Liked by 1 person

        • “I think he takes his dick out and when he has to pee slings his dick in circles”

          Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. 🙂

          “Do you have an oil burner thingy???”

          Yes, but this fragrance oil is so good, you don’t have to burn it. I use cut-up cardboard in a jar, then sprinkle drops of fragrance on them. Then put jars all around.

          “Did you get a lot of snow???”

          No, not really, but most of it stayed on the ground. But when I was walking on it, the snow was mostly ice underneath. Pictures to come. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I was BEAT as a child not spanked! I ended up doing everything you mentioned spanking does in my later years. When I got older, I gave my parents hell. Luckily, my dad wasn’t around because he would have gotten the best of my worst, he use to beat us until we bleed. Abusive ass. I don’t condone spanking children and I absolutely hate to see the babies in my family get a spanked or a strike of correction so to speak. No hitting children!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I just don’t get the argument that it’s the only way they know. Like if your parents beat you, then you’ll beat your own children because that’s how you were brought up. I hope you don’t think that it was your fault, as I’m sure many children do.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I was never spanked a day in my life and neither has my 19 year old daughter. Her grandmother was a firm believer in spanking and she was told by my ex wife that if she spanked our girl, even one time, she would never see our kid again.

    My daughter knew she’d be disciplined. “Consequences” was one of the first words she learned, but she knew she wouldn’t be smacked physically.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. What do I think? It. is. child. abuse. PERIOD.

    Not everyone who is raised by bullies grows up to be one – but the lesson they were taught at home is only this: You ARE bad – I have the power to hurt you if you are bad again, and I will use it. Big people get to beat up on little people – and don’t have to “use their words.”
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I got spanked a lot as a kid. I had a terrible lying problem, and I had a penchant for breaking things just because. I remember I had a thing for taking lipsticks and turning them till they were as high as they could go and then smashing the lid down. It was very satisfying, and I ruined any lipstick I found: mom, grandmother, aunt, babysitter, teacher had some on her desk … I only remember two spankings that actually hurt. The earliest one was because I kept trying to ride my grandmother’s dog like a horse. He was old and falling apart, and it hurt him. For some reason, I kept thinking it was a good idea because he was the size of a pony in my mind. My mother kept telling me I was hurting him and I loved that dog, so I don’t know why I didn’t listen. After getting caught for the fourth time, I got spanked. My little brother who wasn’t even in school yet asked me if it hurt. I told him yes. He innocently asked, “Did it hurt like the doggie hurt?” When he asked that question something clicked in my child brain. The second spanking that actually hurt was when I was walking home from the bus stop for the first time by myself. Mom and I had practiced heaps of times, I recited the ‘look both ways before crossing the street’ with her seriously like 100 goddamn times. She was hiding and watching me that day, and the second I got off the bus I hauled ass across the street for some reason. We lived in Germany then so I don’t know if maybe I was about to get run over by a bicycle or what (I am assuming cars stop for buses there like they do here) but she spanked the shit out of me in some parking lot. I remember her crying as she did it and she was yelling, I scared her, I think she was saying. Not sure. I do not feel as though being spanked fucked my life up, but I do have a phobia about crossing a street on foot.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t know how many kids can tell the difference between a spanking done out of fear, to teach a lesson, or one done out of impatience and bullying. My son also had a habit of lying as a child, but it’s not like I was able to “cure” him of it. He never grew out of it. Did you?

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am a white lie person, but I sure as shit stopped breaking and destroying people’s things and lying about *that* type of stuff. Thank goodness. Imagine if I were still obsessed with smashing lipsticks … they are way too expensive these days. I also told what my mom called “woppers” but I wasn’t punished for those. She says she just always knew I would be a writer and was full of stories.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. It really doesn’t make sense. “I’m hitting you because you did something I don’t like. But don’t hit anybody else if they do something you don’t like.” It’s hypocritical. There are so many options and each child is different. It takes time and effort, but it’s so worth trying out different froms of behavior modification before resorting to hitting a person much smaller and much more vulnerable than you. And that’s my humble opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

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