WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an effort to bring people together, president-elect Donald Trump has planned a special surprise for his inauguration day, January 20th. Every outlet that sells ice cream, from Baskin-Robbins to the corner gas station, will be participating in Free Ice Cream Day. Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway (and her husband) announced the new annual holiday on CNN this morning.

Not only will every American receive a free ice cream bar, but Trump has declared January 20th to be an international holiday. Ms. Conway said that any country choosing to participate will be considered friends of the new administration.

Ms. Conway went on to say that: “We want everyone to celebrate on inauguration day, no matter who they voted for. Get a free ice cream at your nearest local store, then join your friends and family in watching history take place. Donald Trump will be the best president ever and we will all benefit for the next four years, starting on January 20th. Free Ice Cream Day is just the beginning.”

Ms. Conway’s husband will be one of the street vendors in Washington on inauguration day. He said he’ll be selling Trump novelty items, like a pink, frilly apron that says, “Trump This, Daddy.” Also among the items for sale by Ms. Conway’s husband is a coffee mug that states, “I Am The Man.”

CNN also reported that some countries have already agreed to participate in Free Ice Cream Day, including Scotland, Germany, and North Vietnam. No word yet from Russia.


33 thoughts on “Trump Declares Free Ice Cream Day For Inauguration

  1. Great idea from the master of social media: THIS will heal the divide. Who wouldn’t respond positively to a free ice cream bar? (um, me) Even free ice cream for the next four years wouldn’t change my opinion or assuage my fears. I need to see how he LEADS, not how he buys people off with PR gestures.

    Hey – THIS might do it for ME: how about free FOOD for the next four years for each person under a certain income level, free medications for below poverty-line seniors, subsidized housing for the homeless and disabled, and an increase in free psychiatric programs for Vets with PTSD and their families, and . . .

    Oh wait, I forgot. Those billions are already pledged to building the Great Wall of America and inciting a return to the vaccine wars. Gotta’ keep those priorities straight!
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Hot fudge sundae or nothin….unless they’re Dove bars in dark chocolate, of course.

    Excuse me, but all I can see when I look at your photo is meat. Is that meat, or is it that when I look at it, I see meat?

    This piece needs to be published in The Onion. I bet they would publish it. It’s a great satire piece! Go Johnna!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I still wouldnt want to live there … even if he was giving away oreo / banana chocolate chip / vanilla bean / salted caramel ice cream with melting hot fudge topping, with chocolate sprinkles and hundreds and thousands on top … Nope, I shall remain here in earthquake land, eating dry weetbix πŸ™‚ Nice try though.

    Liked by 1 person

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