If you want to know how a medication is affecting you, you can always stop taking it. Having to go without will definitely show you if the medication was helping or not. And it will also show you how dependent you are on that medication.
I use cannabis every day to treat my intractable pain. So, when I don’t have it, I go through a type of withdrawal. I get really sad and cry a lot, often for no apparent reason. I smoke cigarettes like there’s no tomorrow. My insomnia gets worse. I see no point in making any kind of plan for the day because I have no pain relief waiting for me. I lose my appetite, even for chocolate. I don’t want to eat because eating hurts my jaw joints, face, head, and neck. Don’t even try to ask me to smile.
After 3 or 4 days without bud, the sadness dims and is replaced by anger. I’m always surprised at how much anger there is inside of me, so closely contained, just waiting to burst free. Anger, frustration, irritation, and sometimes, even hate. I absolutely hated having to depend on a doctor for my pain relief, and it’s no fun now, having to rely on an underground bud connection.
Yes, bud helps me control my anger. It helps to manage my dark and suicidal thoughts. It puts me in the mood to find just about anything funny. It distracts me from the constant pain. It makes chocolate taste better, if that’s even possible. And it even helps me cut back on smoking cigarettes.
Even though I’m a non-violent person, right now, without bud, I could seriously punch someone. Being poor really sucks, but being in unrelieved, constant pain sucks more.
But is this withdrawal, or is this just my normal, painful state of being? If it is withdrawal, it’s not that bad. Doesn’t last that long. I’ve taken a lot of different drugs to treat pain in the past 30 years, and I’d have to say that the withdrawal from cannabis is no big deal. As long as I know that I’ll have access to it again in the near future, I’ll be okay…
But seriously, right now, stay the fuck out of my way.
All Things Chronic 
I am so sorry you are out. I understand feeling like you are all anger. Been there, felt that. I HATE the way pain meds are handled by misinformed and uninformed docs – and I hate the demonization and regulation of canibus almost more. “Medical maryjane” is a crazy concept – it need to be legal – period. Then those who need it could get great seeds and grow it – like basil.
What is WRONG with our world? My heart hurts for you tonight.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
– ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
“It takes a village to transform a world!”
LikeLiked by 2 people
I don’t like being angry. It hurts. And I’ve worked so very, very hard at reaching acceptance… With acceptance, I really thought most of my anger would live in the past. Thanks for commiserating with me. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m with you on the dislike of feelings of anger. It rarely helps and it slows me down. Still, I acknowledge it when I feel it, dissipating it more rapidly. And I’m always quick to commiserate. 🙂
xx,
mgh
LikeLiked by 2 people
I too use cannibus pretty much on a daily basis to help my vertigo and pain. I don’t think I have withdrawls, but I do get mighty grumpy…no I get really damn mad, when I’m out. I don’t think it’s withdrawals I think it’s pain, and not being able to sleep. My psych doc thinks so too.
It helps me live a more normal life, without it I’m really in a lot more pain, I have more vertigo, and I have insomnia. No wonder I’m a bitch when I’m not taking it. Geez.
I feel for you lady.
I’d share if we were closer.
xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
When I’m angry, I find that the voice inside my head uses so much bad language, there should be a warning label on my forehead. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
There might be a permanent label on my forehead. 😛
LikeLiked by 1 person
How about a forehead tattoo? Warning: Filthy language resides here. Don’t poke the bear. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love it!!
LikeLiked by 1 person