It’s About Respect

After a year in New Mexico’s medical cannabis program, I couldn’t afford to renew. Not that I wanted to, because the products in this state are overpriced and lacking in quality. And so the legal market forced me into the underground market.

For the two years that I’ve been in the underground market, I’ve lost count of the number of connections I’ve had. Some dumped me, while I dumped others. The thing is, you can’t let people treat you like shit. Like you don’t matter. Because if you allow other people to disrespect you, then you will begin to disrespect yourself.


Subject: Stood up again

Since I can’t cook for myself with a broken foot, I have to go get something to eat. I’ve been waiting to eat for 5 hours. Waiting on you. I’m leaving in 15 minutes. If I hear from you before I leave, fine. If not, talk to you tomorrow.

The Heartless Bitch:

Subject: RE: Stood up again

Sorry my son has been a handful since he got home.

Me: When you change your plans, it would be nice if you would let me know. After all, they were my plans, too.

The Heartless Bitch: Well I dont really continuously check my phone or refresh my email when Im caring for my son. I’ll email you tomorrow.

Me: It would’ve taken you less than a minute to send me an email with your change in plans. And it’s not like this is the first time you’ve stood me up. Or the second. Or the third. Usually, I don’t let people treat me like this — like I’m a piece of gum that got stuck to your shoe. I wonder if you would still do business with me if I kept standing you up.

The Heartless Bitch: Ok unfortunately my life doesnt revolve around refreshing my email to see if Ive got anything from you. And I dont think talking to me that way is going to help. Im not sure if you have other means of getting what you need but maybe they can spend more time checking to see if you’ve emailed. Because apparently my having a life (my son, work, classes) isnt going to work out for you.

Me: *****, we had an appointment. You were not waiting to hear from me. You didn’t have to check your email. I was waiting to hear from you when you returned home from picking up your son from school. If you couldn’t make the 2:30 appointment, all you had to do was let me know. I call that common courtesy. Why is that too much to ask? And I’m sorry if you don’t like hearing about how being stood up makes me feel, but I never lie.

The Heartless Bitch: Ok. Well my son will always come first. Whether you call it an appointment or not.

Me: You made the appointment. You chose the time. I have gone above and beyond as one of your customers. In fact, I would bet that I’m the best customer you ever had. I saw your ad on Craig’s List. I hope you find dozens of customers just so you can see that I’m right. Although I have to say, I’ve run into a few of your customers on Craig’s List, and they had a lot to say about you. Do you ever wonder why you can’t keep regular customers?

I don’t understand why you would rather find new customers who are strangers rather than just show me a little common courtesy. But that’s your choice, not mine.

The Heartless Bitch: I will not argue or continue to entertain your tantrum. I have at least 10 people I’ve been selling to for about 3 years. I dont really think its a huge deal either way. Take care.

Me: I’m not surprised that you don’t think standing people up or lying is a huge deal. After all, it’s the way you do business. And if you have so many customers, why are you advertising for more? You know, you should feel extremely lucky that I’m not a vindictive person, because you’ve caused me a lot of frustration and pain. And all of it for average weed.

You appear unable to take responsibility for your bad behavior. So much so, that I’m thinking about teaching you a lesson… But, it’s your loss, dude. I’m sure your son was appreciating the extra income you got from me. Too bad for him. And I hope none of your new customers will pose a threat to you or your son. Take care.

I need cannabis to survive. That’s a fact. I don’t handle dry periods very well, but I’ve learned that, if I try hard enough, there will always be another connection. Which is more important, my survival or the amount of respect I have for myself? I don’t know the answer to that question.

7 thoughts on “It’s About Respect

  1. It would have been nice for her to tell you she wouldn’t be able to meet you at the appointed time (emailing from a mobile phone is a pain in the ass and can’t be done as quickly or as easily as texting – so if she really was in a rush, this is a somewhat valid excuse), but I also understand that she has life and work outside of that “business”. For this reason, connections are rarely reliable.

    Being that it’s a business relationship, she has the right to do whatever she wants because she’s the one providing a usually non-essential service, even if that includes being a heartless bitch. Customers have the option of telling her to go fuck herself. Maybe if enough people get pissed off at her and she doesn’t have any customers left, she’ll pass the torch onto someone who doesn’t suck.

    Do what you gotta do, but don’t shoot yourself in your good foot in the process. Maybe if you accumulate a few providers and maintain an amicable working relationship with them, one of them is bound to come through when the others get flaky. There’s no rule saying you have to commit to one connection. Polyweedery?

    Or bite the bullet and get back into the MMJ program. At least then you’ll have guaranteed access, even if it’s sub-optimal product. Is it possible that it has improved in the past two years? I don’t know how much it costs to enroll, versus how much you’re currently spending. It might be worth giving it another go if your current system causes you too much distress.

    Liked by 1 person

    • As long as cannabis isn’t legal for everyone, she will continue to have customers. And considering she uses excuses to excuse her own bad behavior, I don’t agree that her excuse was valid. She didn’t have any problems emailing me when it suited her. Of course, this is only a snapshot of the end of our relationship — everything that came before this led up to my dumping her, including her threat to dump me.

      Accumulate a few providers? Dude, I’ve tried to do that for the last 2 years. And I can’t afford the program, including how much it would cost to re-enroll. That involves a doctor’s appointment and updated tests, which I don’t need and refuse to pay for. Has the program improved? Well, one of the connections I’ve had this year brought me some dispensary bud — he paid $20/gram for crap.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. If she had any other business she’d be bankrupt by now. Having 10 customers for a few years is laughable. If she had steady clientele she should have far more than that. I hope you find another connection soon,

    Liked by 1 person

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