The white part of the story

When I was 19, I was driving home erratically, crying. I did a rolling stop through a red light. I was a mile away from my house. I got pulled over…

He drug me out of the open car window and onto the ground. He kicked me in the ribs. He fractured my wrist cuffing me and picking me up by the link between the cuffs. He held his boot to the back of my head with my face on loose gravel, leaving what would later become scars. He bounced my head off the side of the car when he was putting me in, all while laughing…

Do you know what I was arrested for and charged with that day? Resisting arrest…

Fast forward to the jail. I’d never been in trouble. Had no idea what to expect. I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t breathe. I told them he’d broken my wrist but they wouldn’t believe me. They strapped me in a chair when I wouldn’t calm down. Strap on your forehead. Strap on your chest. Strap on each arm and each leg. Like a beast. I remember begging for someone to scratch my nose, hysterically sobbing. I remember being in that chair for hours, topless, because I’d gotten “unruly” during the strip, cough, and squat procedure and refused to do it. So they ripped my shirt off and as I fought them, they put me in the chair. I tried to fight back against a female guard when she tried to rip my pants off. I didn’t understand why I was there. I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t think I should have been arrested. I was livid. And loud.

Then they parked me. For five hours. In that chair. Strapped down. In front of a men’s holding cell. I was literally losing my mind. It was a black man who, for five hours, while incarcerated himself, talked calmly and softly to me. Sang to me. Said every kind thing you could imagine. I finally stopped screaming and trying to head butt or kick anyone who passed. He said, “Stop, or they’ll kill you. Just stop baby girl. It’s ok. You’ll be ok if you stop.” He was an angel…

A week later police in the same town shot an unarmed and senile very elderly black man in the face because he wouldn’t come with them. There were no videos. There was no social media. You haven’t heard about him. But he’s dead. You won’t hear his story.

This arrest is still on my record. It doesn’t prevent me from anything but I do have to explain felony charges when I get pulled over or apply for a job.

I have never publicly told this story.

I tell it to you, today.

And here’s why:

If I were a black man, I would be dead. Plain and simple. Pretty white girls don’t get shot during wrongful arrests…

Of course they riot. What else are they supposed to do? Watch their brothers, fathers, husbands get gunned down in complacent silence? How many stories have we not heard because there is no tape? How many more deaths are there?

How do we protect our brothers and sisters of color? What can we do? We need to move. We need to make something happen. This is unacceptable.


Please show your support for this courageous woman by liking her post on Facebook:

12 thoughts on “The white part of the story

  1. My son went through something similar to what you did but the reason he was pulled over was because he was “profiled” as being a young, punk kid, who had no business delivering pizza in a rich part of Charleston.
    One officer stomped on him and then drug him along the pavement, skinning his legs arms and face. The other officer pulled his gun and said “give me a reason.”
    After they had their power play with him, they laughed, slammed his head against the car and told him to “beat it.”
    No, my son is not black and you’re probably right. Had he been, he would most likely be dead…but it was black police officers who pulled him over

    Liked by 2 people

    • This isn’t my story, it’s Suzanna Molly’s story. And I think a lot of people have stories of police brutality. It’s kinda like stories about drug abuse — almost everyone knows someone who’s been affected.


  2. Unfortunately, this story serves as a vehicle for the “if he was black, he would be dead” meme which is used to exaggerate the problem of police brutality against blacks while denying the reality of police brutality against whites, who are the majority of victims of police killings.

    I don’t think it’s helpful to make a lot of speculative racial what ifs based on no real evidence, or dismiss police brutality against whites as if it’s not as serious as what black experience. Every incident is unique and effects the victims in different ways. Savagery doesn’t follow race-based rules.

    The police arrest over 12 million people a year (not counting traffic stops) with over 500,000 of those arrests involving violent crimes. If the “had he been black” meme is correct, there would be hundreds of thousands of dead black people and few would make it alive into prison. Yet total police killings are around 1,000 a year including whites and Hispanics. The facts simply don’t support the idea that cops kill black people on sight.

    Most incidents of police brutality involve beatings and abuse, not death. Your odds of getting shot by a cop are pretty slim, white or black.

    I have myself been beaten by the police twice, as have many of my friends, one of whom was white middle class and the son a prominent attorney in one of the wealthiest counties in the US. He was forced to plea bargain to a DWI even though they had video of him being beaten while handcuffed face down at a tollbooth on I-95. They were going to hit him with felony assault on a police officer.

    My father was beaten Rodney-King style in his own back yard in El Paso while the cops held my sister and her husband at gunpoint. He was also beaten many times while being involved as a union organizer in NYC in the 60’s. My next door neighbor when I was a kid was shot in the stomach by a drunken off-duty NYC cop who had insulted his wife. I could go on and on, just from my own little circle. All white people. The fact I have experienced police violence and know so many people who have been beaten by cops suggests to me that this is not as rare as many suggest.

    Liked by 2 people

      • “some waving Confederate flags and others chanting, “White lives matter.”

        Someone finally mentions the police killing of a white guy and they instantly derail it with the “racist redneck” stereotype citing Confederate flags and implying anyone who thinks “White Lives Matter” must be a racist.

        It is true that whites are the majority of the population, but they are a minority of criminal offenders. It is a highly suspicious quirk of criminal justice statistics that whites and Hispanics are combined in the criminal offender category but separated in the criminal victim category. This has the effect of artificially inflating the estimates of white criminals. But even with the inflated numbers, blacks are still the majority of criminal offenders especially violent offenders.

        Since 75 percent of police shootings involve someone armed with a gun and most of the rest are involved in some other kind of crime, it is disingenuous to estimate the rate of police killings by comparison to the general population. We should be considering the rate of police killings by race compared to the percentage of criminals of a particular race and also the severity of the crime being committed when they are shot. By those standards whites seem to be far more likely to be killed by the police even though they are less likely to be involved in a violent confrontation with the cops when they are shot.

        Most studies have shown there is a little evidence of race being a factor in police use of force.

        Click to access Klahm%20and%20Tillyer%20Article%20%285%29.pdf

        Paul Craig Roberts has a great article on police brutality.

        “I have always been suspicious of the racist explanation. This is an explanation fed to the public in order to break the public into waring factions that cannot unite against their real oppressors. Indoctrinated as we are to hate and fear one another, those who rule and abuse us can do as they will.

        It is as clear as a clear day that only a tiny percentage of white Americans belong to the One Percent. The rest of us are of no more consequence to those who rule than are blacks. Yet, we are divided, fearful of and opposed to one another. What a success for the One Percent !”

        What he says is also true of the “white privilege” propaganda.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Or it could just be that women commit far fewer violent crimes or are less likely to use violence in resisting arrest.

        I imagine that racism could play a role in the higher rate of police shootings of whites. Racists believe that whites are superior in all things including combat ability. That might lead them to perceive whites as more dangerous in violent confrontations or underestimate blacks in confrontations like the one with Micah Johnson.


  3. The ruling class uses race as a divisive force, and one of the ways it does this is with endless racial circuses like Ferguson designed to convince black people that whites are all racists and we are all willing to see them gunned down in the streets for nothing. The mass media and academia, which serve the interests of the 1 percent, try to make EVERYTHING about race. They even go so far as to dismiss class issues altogether or accuse anyone who raises them of being in “denial” of race issues or attempting to minimize them.

    If it’s all about race, and whites can only get ahead by oppressing blacks, then whites and blacks are natural enemies. But if it’s mostly about class, and the 1 percent gets ahead by screwing us all, then whites and blacks are natural allies, and the 1 percent is the enemy. It is easy to see why the ruling class and its stooges promote the former idea while denying the latter. This doesn’t mean racism doesn’t exist or isn’t a problem that needs to be addressed. But exaggerating or fixating exclusively on racial issues can have the effect of increasing racial divisions. Putting racism and racial oppression in its proper context of an overall system of oppression that targets us all can help us see we are all in this together.

    This problem is not new nor am I the only one to recognize it. If you can get past the racism in this piece (it was written in the 1800s) it has some powerful observations that still hold true today.

    “You are kept apart that you may be separately fleeced of your earnings. You are made to hate each other because upon that hatred is rested the keystone of the arch of financial despotism which enslaves you both. You are deceived and blinded that you may not see how this race antagonism perpetuates a monetary system which beggars both.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s very sad when the people we’re supposed to look up to (or love) fail us in so many ways. Our parents, husbands and wives, kids, family members, doctors, police, priests… Hard to find people to trust these days.

      Liked by 1 person

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