Fuck You, Bud Fairy

One of my connections was a chronic pain patient, personal grower, and veteran who wanted to trade pot for sex. When I said no, he told me to fuck off and refused to do business with me.

Another dude said he was also a chronic pain patient, personal grower, and veteran, but he wanted the same thing the first guy wanted.

There was a grower who said he supplied a handful of dispensaries in Albuquerque, but when I told him I wasn’t interested in dating, he disappeared.

There was the woman who seemed to have no problem stringing me along for days, only to finally reveal that she didn’t have anything.

Then there was the traveling couple who asked me to meet them in the middle of the night and never showed up.

Finally, there was the Donald Drumpf supporter, who told me he used some of his 401(k) funds to invest in gold, allegedly located in a German vault. Also a chronic pain patient, he went on and on about the great bud he had access to, but as it turns out, that was just talk. He wanted to charge me $22/gram for average bud and I told him to forget it — even the dispensaries can’t get away with charging that ridiculous price. He also brought over some Mexican brick weed, which I had never tried before (and never will again).

I could go on (and on), but even though the stories are sometimes different, the results are always the same — disappointment and anger.

I want to thank the DEA for causing me so much misery. But I also have to thank those pain patients who refuse to help other pain patients — and remind them that karma is a bitch.

Edit 5/19/2016: As it was embarrassingly pointed out to me, the Trump supporter wasn’t going to charge me $22/gram — I miscalculated because my head hurts. However, this wasn’t the only problem, so I’ll leave it at that.

15 thoughts on “Fuck You, Bud Fairy

  1. I had the exact thing happen when I created a phony dental account, wore my nurse’s outfit from Central Casting and lugged home a huge tank of Nitrous for the ‘dentist’s office.’ it was great fun.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The things we do to find and obtain our drugs of choice… I don’t think it’s supposed to be like this in 2016. I’ve always liked Nitrous. Too bad it doesn’t come in pill form. 🙂


  2. Not surprisingly the kind of people who are willing to risk their lives and freedom or even kill others to make a profit from drugs have no reservations about exploiting you for anything they can get out of you. Though it is blasphemy to say so, us sainted and sinless veterans often fall into the category of “people who are willing to kill,” albeit for the state. So one should expect no unique altruism from a veteran that you would not expect from anyone else.

    In a capitalist society everything and everyone is a commodity and clearly the purpose of the drug war is to maintain drugs as a highly profitable commodity rather than a cheap and easily accessible public good, like water. I’ve often imagined that another ulterior motive aside from empowering the police state and profit is that the high cost of drugs coupled with the desperation of addicts or people in pain who are unable to afford them creates an underclass of women (and men) who are forced to sell themselves into sexual servitude as their only means of obtaining the drugs they need. Drug dealers and those with access to drugs can demand sex as payment along with whatever money gets exchanged. It is a ruthless and exploitive seller’s market, working as designed.

    So yeah this “medical” marijuana bullshit is just more of the same commodification of a substance that would be cheap as dirt if it were legal to grow it in your windowsill. If it were decriminalized it would be so common and plentiful as to become a public good you could ask your neighbors to “borrow” like the proverbial cup of sugar.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I know all that, but you’ve explained it a lot better than I could. I suppose, even in all of my pessimism, I still want to believe in the good in people. I still want to believe that I’m a good person, no matter what others say, and I still want to keep trying to be a better person. And when you consider all of the outside forces at work, it’s no wonder people are selfish and exploitative. Such is life, I guess.


If you don't comment, I'll just assume you agree with me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s