Even if it’s happened to you, you still don’t know how it feels

I’m very tired of chronic pain patients judging each other, rating their pain according to their medical condition, using the McGill Pain Scale to say their pain is the worst. Comparing their pain to other’s, as if that even makes sense.

Because, as the song says, you don’t know. Even if you also suffer from chronic pain, you still don’t know how I feel. No one knows all the roads other pain patients have traveled, or the depths of despair each person has experienced. Stop judging. I mean it.

Listen to Kesha’s voice. She’ll tell you. Every person’s pain and grief is different, even if some of it is the same.

Thank you, Kesha and Lady Gaga — you’re both very brave and awesome women.

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7 thoughts on “Even if it’s happened to you, you still don’t know how it feels

  1. I certainly agree with this, but it is not typically people with pain who tell us what our pain is like or how we should be reacting to it, but the medical profession and people without pain. In truth I have rarely seen this from people in pain, even being in support groups for many years. The one time I did see it the person responsible for it–who was a really nasty, arrogant piece of work–later turned out to be a psychiatrist. We didn’t know her profession when she was in the group but she routinely minimalized everyone else’s pain claiming her pain was “nerve pain” which was worse than everyone else’s “muscle pain” and “psychosomatic pain.” Later after she left the group some of her patients happened to come to the group and we were able to piece together that she was their doctor by her name, behavior and a peculiar physical characteristic she had that was fairly unique among women.

    Needless to say we were not shocked or surprised to learn that she had been extremely abusive and condescending to her clients, though that is rarely an unsafe bet when dealing with doctors. But I think it is telling that it was not people in pain for the most part who act like this, though I have seen some nasty trolls in online groups.

    Liked by 1 person

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