How did I get here? Shall we play the blame game?
I guess I would start with blaming 5 years of competitive gymnastics — a sport that taught me a lot, while punishing my body.
I blame the medical industry and insurance companies for their ignorance about conditions like TMJ and chronic pain.
I blame 401(k)s, which take more money than they give. And I blame Unum, a corporation that terminated my long term disability benefits just because it can.
I blame politicians for their inability to understand every side of each issue, pleasing some people, while torturing others. I blame them for making laws that favor the rich, while punishing the poor (a shout out to ERISA).
I blame the State of Texas for only offering me prescription medications to treat pain, while outlawing cannabis. (I think the state should have paid for my move to New Mexico.)
I blame those who see disabilities as a quirk of nature, easily conquered by those who are suffering, instead of medical conditions that require treatment.
But most of all, I blame the drug war, because without it, I’m sure that a lot of these problems would not have brought me here — where I am today, in February of 2016.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/fbi-dea-chasing-the-dragon_us_56b52445e4b08069c7a767a7
Last week, the FBI and DEA released “Chasing the Dragon,” a documentary that paints an honest, unforgiving picture of opiate addiction’s devastating, often deadly consequences…
Johnna Stahl · Albuquerque, New Mexico
I don’t understand how anyone can comprehend the wonders found in the cannabis plant, while looking down at the wonders found in the poppy plant. Yes, cannabis can’t kill you, but pain can, don’t ever doubt it. When you discriminate against one drug, you discriminate against all of them.
All Things Chronic 
I blame a lack of sympathy of those who create and enforce law, especially in regards to the social and economic costs of grossly punishing those who seek to end their pain. A massive waste of time and life energy over plants that will outlive us indefinitely… it’s a goddamn shame. and that’s putting it lightly.
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Sometimes I think the police are just doing their job. And sometimes I think the police like their job way too much. Looking down on others while finding enjoyment in their suffering is just messed up. I can’t tell who the good guys are anymore. 😦
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Oh gurl 😉 I blame them for you too… it all sucks azz I’m so sick of this system. They rather give you a drug made in a lab that in a few months or years is being recalled due to killing people but a herb that has been around since the beginning of time that HELPS!. I get sick effects from the medications that I take and have to have blood and urine check every 6 weeks so if anything bad shows up they can try to treat it “fuck that” I take one drug that is chemo and one that can most likely cause cancer and I do believe in fact I know for a fact cancer runs very, very high on both sides on my family so that scares me….I tried to speak with my Dr the other day about all things with my medications for lupus and fibro and she got very rude with me and disrespected me once an again. I try to learn about new medications and look things up about my health and this is not the first time she has been very rude and VERY short with me. Also to drive over 120 or more and she only sees me 10 min “if that” and smart azz mouth about my medicare well they probably will not pay for that and that No we do not take that insurance “like she is above this and me” I said well you could have gotten paid in full now.. And no telling how much she is charging me for the visit and test I do have a balance with her but with the way she has been treating me “rude” and she just does not care I will not pay my balance it is well over 278.00 and she charges for a full 30 minutes when you do not even see her that long…..
Like I seen that one blog about firing the Dr… I think that I am headed that way….. 😦
The 401k OMG how I am fighting to get mine…going on almost a year…it is an old one from about 15 years but I kept all my paper work but so many names of people that said oh yes we found it in unclaimed then oh it is with this company or that I have been going thru the biggest run around and fuck it is my money!!!!! I left another message since it has been since January since I last spoke with a new girl that has taken place of the old one … I never thought it would be this fucking hard…IT IS MY MONEY AND WE SURE IN THE FUCK COULD USE IT… not that it is a lot but any would help at this time…Also when I do get it (praying) I am sure that medicare or some agency will take it from me…
I think that you should move back to Texas close to me… 😉 and they should pay for it!!!!…Your blog about getting kicked out when I though all was getting a little better for you like they were going to fix things for you pisses the fuck out of me… I wish since we have a mobile home where our home is that you could agree to pay the bills that you would have and some rent but at this time my better half has his half sister and her family there and gurl it is nothing but they think they deserve not to pay me the full amount of what bills they have since they are in our names just like water and sewer fuck they get mad at me when the internet and telephone is 128.00 well she is the one that had to have the fastest internet when I told her I have the 44.00 with no problems we watch movies and cells phones and a pc and even so called friends come over and they get on cell phones and it all runs fast …. well a gurl can dream lol.. And from what I hear is that they might not be staying….”oh I hope” nothing but problems from day one…these are people that were on the street only had that day and my better half and them are not close at all he did it out of the kindness of his heart and how is mom and dad raised him… btw we are pretty down on people have been for awhile on how they treat us and shit going on…… We have never got a thank you from them not a damn thing we do not get rent from her she just pays the bills that are hers and her family so we do not make a cent… and it is like pulling teeth when it is time for her to bring me the cash so I can pay her bills..get this
she leaves it in the mailbox here at dads she is to embarrassed to show her face to us.. OOOH and dad let her use his van so she could go to work only….this has gone on 2 years and we told her not to let her 2 kids drive it…yeah she did not listen…and she is supost to buy it and start this month..or we are taking it from her… 😦
She also just believes that we are just depressed and nothing else more is wrong with us.. I just look people who judge with out knowledge speak to me like a human get to know us..but then my better half and them are like strangers.. yes we are depressed with all the bad luck and stress and illnesses and shall I go on.. I AM NOT AFRAID TO SAY YES I AM
DEPRESSED BUT I HAVE REASON TO JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE BUT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION (I THINK WE ARE MORE FUN TO BE AROUND)
So I wish you could move into that 2 bed with 2 bath and a lil yard in the country I like that master bed since the bathroom is in same room…. hell you never know my sister 🙂
Again I agree with you and wish you nothing but love and kindness and in hopes things turn around for you… If you are like us you have just about had it….
Sorry to rant on your blog….
HUGGGGGGGGGGS to YOU!!!!
Suzette
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(In my best Southern accent): My word, Suzy Q, how you do have a tendency to ramble. You’re like a volcano made out of words. 🙂
I’m sorry your doctor sucks as much as my doctors did. 🙂
As for your unwanted guests, sometimes people are just plain tacky. (I might be poor, but I don’t ever wanna be tacky.) 🙂
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lmao!!!!!!..Oh gurl I want to hear that accent too…I just love how you describe things too you always seem to make me laugh so thank you ….
Yes I know I ramble and ramble to a fault one subject to another and back again I have always done the one subject to another it runs in the family so I will blame it on that lol..
I just hope I do not bore you with the ramble of my mouth…
Yes this Dr sucks and I just do not know what to do just yet…well you said past tense so I take it you quit seeing him/her I hate that I have to see them
Agree some are tacky and just do not care..
Hey you did not hear poor is the new kool thing and so in…lol
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