Why I Gave Up Booze in Favor of Weed


By Sarah Galvin

Many members of my family, myself included, have generalized anxiety disorder, meaning basically we’re scared shitless every minute of the day. People sometimes say things like “Why don’t you try yoga?” These well-meaning people do not know what they’re talking about. I do every nonchemical thing possible for my anxiety—an hour of exercise a day, therapy every two weeks. It’s not an emotional problem, though; it’s the wiring in my brain. It fascinates me that many people don’t seem to realize there is as much structural variation in human brains as human bodies. For me, and several others who share my genes, it’s like some knob is cranked up too high. Everyday life is a flood, equal parts staggering beauty and horror. Makes you want a brandy or five, extra ice…

One side effect of my nightly ritual is that if there are any descriptions of food in whatever I’m reading, I have to stop and eat something. A couple of times, I have literally eaten all the food in my apartment. Once, after reading a description of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I was unable to sleep. I had already showered and brushed my teeth, but I just couldn’t take the visions of peanut butter and jelly beckoning like Playboy centerfolds. I finally got up, made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, ate it, made another peanut butter and jelly sandwich, ate it, made a third peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and ate that. I was in a trance. Their flavor seemed to inhabit my entire body. I put peanut butter on one finger and jelly on another and licked it off, in complete rapture. “Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches have possessed me” is one of the hundreds of ridiculously stupid thoughts I have restrained myself from posting on Facebook or texting to friends while high…

One time, after purchasing and sampling some really good bud from a dispensary, I spent 30 minutes cleaning out my dryer’s lint screen.  I vacuumed it.  I wiped it down.  I buffed and shined it.  Poor thing has never had that kind of attention, before or since.

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