Sure, you can ignore scammers and automatically delete their emails without a second thought…  My mailbox is over the limit and I must click here?  Delete.  My nonexistent PayPal account needs updating?  Delete. Or…

I’ve been redirecting the anger caused by my constant pain to email scammers, with replies like this:  “Freaking scammer. Don’t you have anything better to do with your time, asshole?”  But why be angry at a stranger, even if it is a scumbag?  Perhaps it would be better to just have some fun?

So here are some replies I will be using in the future.  Please feel free to copy and paste to your heart’s content — there’s no copyrighted material on my blog.  It’s free for everyone to use.

1.  When was the last time you bathed?  Dude, I can smell you through my internet connection.

2.  Stop picking your nose.  It’s tacky and disgusting.  (And while you’re at it, try trimming your nose hair.)

3.  What is that smell?  Did you just fart?  Good thing you live alone in the basement.

4.  Have you heard of the new email tracer app?

5.  Just sent your email address to the new Scammer Database in Washington, D.C.

6.  I’ve connected Skype to my inbox, so whenever I open an email from you, I can see who’s sitting in front of your computer screen.

And for all the poets out there:

Email is free
Malware is too
Just sent you a virus
Ironically true

I’ll bet you wish
you had a real job
Instead you’re just
a naked scammer named Bob

Roses are red
violets are blue
you’re causing me distress
I think I’ll sue

Achoooooo!
Just sent you the flu!
and maybe
Ebola too!

9 thoughts on “Replies to email scammers

  1. Those were very funny, but you’re not actually replying, are you? Those accounts are run by a bot, and have no incoming server set up. They are outgoing email addresses only, so nobody will ever see your hilarious responses except us.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Super funny replies to scammers. I often get scam emails from some claiming from Nigeria that I won huge money ( I can’t count number of zeros in that number!) from lottery and to get I need to pay a small amount as transfer fees. Many lost money to them lost money to them too. Probably it’s the bots randomly sending mass emails and scammers waiting to read replies.

    Liked by 1 person

If you don't comment, I'll just assume you agree with me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s