The Dawning Of A New Day

Gerard Rickhoff, who oversees marriage licenses in Bexar County, Texas, said that if same-sex couples are discriminated against elsewhere in the state, “Just get in your car and come on down the highway. You’ll be embraced here.”

(Photo taken 9/29/2014.)

Dreaming For Tomorrow

I admit, I’m not crazy about piano music.  Music without words seems almost empty to me.  But the piano piece within this post is so… haunting.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I encourage you to go listen, to feel the sadness, to experience the beauty.

Now, the reason why I am posting this on Jamie’s blog is because the heavy emotions I have felt writing these posts and translating his letters is sometimes overwhelming emotionally. Most of the music you will find on, which are twelve more pieces written because of this emotion I felt when transcribing his letters. There are a few, though i wrote for other people. “I’m Sorry” was written for my mother. “Sadness” was written for my daughter. But it was hiss letters that made me want to write again. I hope to include them with the book I am writing, “Inside The Forbidden Outside”.

I had been sick for a long time. I had to quit playing. My brain wasn’t communicating with my fingers so I couldn’t even hold a pen and write my name, so I couldn’t play the piano, either. I had to type with one finger. I couldn’t scramble an egg. My husband did everything for me. All I could was stand and look at my piano with a feeling of such sadness and loss. My last gig was about 12 years ago. I didn’t feel I had the right to call myself a musician any longer. I lost my identity. I lost everything. I lost myself. I lost a store I owned that catered to the tourists coming off the cruise ships in Key West. My husband and I had to downsize into a 10×10 room in my mothers house. I thought I was moving home and would have a family who cared. That was stupid. I was gone too long and they had no idea who I was and didn’t care to know. At the first time of any problems while sick they erased me. I’m still erased. I wasn’t worth the time of trying to find out who I was. The have no clue. I became easy to sweep under the carpet. I doubt, at this point, it can be fixed. Those were hard times, while I was waiting on the liver transplant list.

Those who have a profession built on who they are will understand the grief that comes with losing something that represents who you are. What if you were a painter who couldn’t paint? An athlete who could no longer play a sport he trained his entire life for? An inmate who was denied a life at all and was locked up in a box that was 5×8 big, smaller than most bathrooms? …

To show what I am


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Spoiled Brat Bloggers

Some of you bloggers are obviously spoiled brats. Mama’s boys and daddy’s girls that got everything you wanted in life. So you took up blogging because someone, or a number of “ones,” told you that you were special. Maybe you wrote a poem in the third grade and it exceeded the expectations of everyone at the time. Well good for you pumpkin. I consider the fact that because all bloggers are different and come from all different aspects of life there are obviously “popular kids” that take up blogging. It is no longer the “sport” of the nerds, geeks, and introverts of the night. Now everyone wants to be a blogger…

10 Ways to Get New Followers

1. Stalk them online for months until you know everything about them. Then one day drop the bomb. Comment on their post, but tie everything in that they have ever said for the past year into one paragraph. You will impress the shit out of them… or scare the living shit out of them. Who wouldn’t love that?

June 25, 2015 at 8:19 PM
Because I’ve come across numerous reblogs of your posts and mentions of your name, I have checked out your blog on many occasions. Every time I did so, all I got was information about blogging and an attitude that came across as privileged. When someone thinks that most people are stupid and needy, to me that just means that this person is only looking on the surface of things. But because I care about Thumbup, and due to my overwhelming curiosity and unanswered questions about you, today I dug a little further.

By looking at posts under your Personal category, I learned that you did, in fact, grow up privileged. And that you’re a Republican. I guessed the first one, but I suppose if I had given it more thought, I would have also guessed the second.

But I also learned about the difficulties you faced as a Korean and an adoptee. What’s weird is that I can usually spot someone who has faced these sort of difficulties a mile away — it’s apparent in their writing and how they look at the world and the people in it. Most people who have been bullied or made to feel like an “other” don’t want anyone else to suffer like that.

At first I found it odd that your experiences haven’t appeared to make you more sympathetic or empathetic, but just the opposite. Then I viewed one of your vlogs. And perhaps it’s because I’m so much older than you that you appear so young, but I got the impression that your experiences have created more of a defensive nature. Which, of course, is understandable, and explains why I found many of your posts, I dunno, somewhat holier-than-thou.

It must feel good to be so popular, at least on WordPress. To have so many other bloggers like your posts and follow you. I hope you’re getting what you need to help you feel important and accepted. Good luck with your book.

Opinionated Man
June 25, 2015 at 8:30 PM
People reblog and share my posts because I do the same for them. It is what blogging is about, community. Nothing wrong with that. I am not popular, but thanks. Take care. -OM

June 25, 2015 at 9:04 PM
I didn’t say there was anything wrong with reblogging or sharing posts, but thanks for the lesson in what it means to be part of a community. And since you’ve worked so very hard to make your blog successful and popular — as you’ve mentioned in many of your posts — denying that part of it seems to be a pretense at being humble. And being humble isn’t one of your strong suits, although it is easy to fool some people.

Nothing wrong with wanting to be popular and working hard to achieve it. And now that you have, maybe you can sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor instead of pretending they don’t exist. Take care, Johnna Stahl a/k/a painkills2, All Things Chronic.

June 25, 2015 at 9:28 PM
If I think he’s humble fine, ok and if you think he is not humble fine, ok.
Why be jumping in my face because of my opinion?
And why doing this to OM? He did nothing wrong? Using my post of him to do this?
The comment by you above? Never seen OM do anything like what you did.
Please if you have issues about the people who stop by, do it over at your site.
Please treat them with respect.
I will like and comment and make post about anybody I found here on wp, There is no certain groupie for me. It’s all and everybody.

June 25, 2015 at 10:10 PM
Jumping in his face? I love how you stand up for him, your true friend. Please feel free to delete all my comments, as I can’t do it myself. As I said, I hope you two will be very happy together.

June 25, 2015 at 10:21 PM
No. It stays.
It shows what you are.