Violence and abuse create a huge blister on your soul. We can cover up that blister with things like drugs, food, numbness, and apathy — and by blaming ourselves, turning the poison inwards, creating feelings like shame.
We can create callouses and scar tissue to cover the blister, but the poison still remains. Our brains will try to see through the poison and scar tissue, trying to make sense of the pain, no matter how hard we try to block it. The results are suffering from anxiety, depression, and PTSD. It’s the brain’s way of saying, “Hey, the poison is still here!” You can only fool your brain for so long. And it’s very hard to function when our brain and our soul is full of poison and pain.
Who created the poison? The abuser. If we still have contact with them, the poison just grows and grows, making it harder to cover up. I don’t know how you could get rid of the poison without cutting off contact.
You deserve to free yourself of the poison. And the abuser deserves… not a damn thing.
(Photo taken 10/14/2014.)