Popularity Sucks

When I was in 7th grade, I decided to have a birthday party. I sent out lots of invitations and my parents bought enough cake, candy, cookies, and chips to feed an army. But, I wasn’t popular, and no one came.

Well, that’s not quite accurate. My best friend at the time showed up about an hour late, and found me still sitting at the dinner table, surrounded by party food. (And yes, we proceeded to pig out.) Unfortunately, I can’t recall her name, but I can vividly recall how it felt to be that unpopular.

At school the next week, I found out that a girl who was really popular had thrown a party on the same day as mine, and everyone had attended her party. And yet, that information didn’t make me feel any better.

You’d think I would have learned my lesson about popularity, but I was still looking for it when I tried out for the cheerleading squad in high school. All the other contestants put up signs asking students to vote for them, but not me. I thought my skill as a gymnast would help me win. Of course I was wrong. Cheerleaders are chosen by their looks and popularity, not their skill.

Is blogging about popularity? I guess it is for some, but I gave up on the popular vote a long time ago. Still, I see other blogs that have a huge following, with lots and lots of likes on each post, and I feel a little pang of regret…  Why don’t I have dozens of likes on one of my posts? Especially on one of the photos I’ve posted (a few of which I think are quite good)?

Obviously, I don’t know the secret to popularity. And I’m glad I’ve reached an age where I don’t care about stuff like that. (Or have I?)

I’ve been independent for most of my life, beginning when I ran away from home at 16 years old. I treasure my independence. I am proud of it. I would not have survived without it, and I fear losing it. For me, independence is much more important than popularity. I’m sure many people have both, but it’s a lot of work to grow and hold on to your independence. The same could be said for popularity, and I don’t have the energy to do and be both (even if it was possible).

Popular people remind me of rich people — without their popularity (without their money), there’s nothing else there. When you depend on looks, popularity or money to get you through life, you don’t put equal effort into learning about the other parts of you. You don’t learn to like yourself — other people provide that for you. It’s like some people are… one dimensional.

Plus, as an introvert, I say: Popularity Sucks. (Just like Mondays.)

But I have to wonder…  If I was popular, maybe then I’d have a friend who could find me some bud, as my independence does nothing for my chronic pain.  So, maybe I should work harder at being popular?  Let me try…

If you live in Albuquerque and want to be my friend, please email me at painkills2@aol.com.

Damn, that was hard work…  But now I can sit back and wait to become popular. 😀