This is Insomnia

Lay down at 2am for half an hour, no sleep forthcoming.

Get up and vacuum, try to wear yourself out.

Collapse on the couch at 3am and wait for sleep. Meditation mantra: Relax your face, relax your face, relax your face…

Awake at 4:30am, with the buzzing in your feet so strong, it seems like it should be audible. (Has it become audible? How could I tell over the high-pitched ringing in my ears?)

Suck on a few grapes (yum) and lay back down. Some deep breathing exercises, smell the watermelon fragrance oil next to the bed, try not to think of the lack of dollar signs in your checking account…

It’s 6am and you awaken with uncomfortably dry lips. Without getting out of bed, you reach for the orange-flavored chapstick and a tic tac. Okay, let’s try this again…

Meditation mantra becomes: Relax your freaking face or the lack of sleep will kill you…

It’s a cloudless sunrise… Should I try again?

At 8am, get up and take “legal” allergy medicine with some aspirin. (Gotta take aspirin with lots of water.)

Okay, I can’t be positive, but I think I slept from 10am to 12pm… When I was on opioid therapy, I had lots of dreams (and some nightmares). And my dreams were in color, too. After opioid therapy, I didn’t have any dreams, or at least any dreams I could remember. Then I started with medical cannabis, and during that year, some of my dreams came back. Not as colorful, but I could remember some of them. Now, I’m back to not having any dreams, and so it’s often hard to tell if I’ve really slept or not.

After a trip to the bathroom, a few more grapes (and okay, a few slices of Boar’s Head white American cheese), I think I was able to get a few more hours of “sleep.”

And now I’m still tired… go figure 🙂

‘Stop Whining’ 911 Dispatcher Tells Girl After Fatal Accident

While this might have been good advice if the male 911 dispatcher was talking to another male, this kind of language can definitely have the opposite effect when talking with a young girl. People really need to start understanding the differences between women and men when they communicate, especially in desperate, medical situations.

Latest shameful email scam

My Last Wish

Dear Beloved ,

I am Mrs Roselyn Jones suffering from cancerous ailment’ I was married to Mr. Williams Jones, my husband worked with Chevron/Texaco in the United Kingdom for twenty years before he died in the year 2005, My late husband deposited the sum of GB?14.5 Million (fourteen Million Five Hundred Thousand Pounds sterling) with a Bank, Recently my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the stroke and cancerous problems I am suffering from I have decided to donate this funds to you believing you are going to use it for the work of God and want you to use my husband’s effort to fund the upkeep of widows and charities worldwide, I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard and earned money to be misused.

Awaiting your urgent reply,

With God all things are possible.

Your Sister,
Mrs Roselyn Jones

Dear “Sister Jones”:  I know you’re not from the U.K.  And shame on you.

Drug Use On US Roads Rises As Drunken Driving Drops

The agency compared drivers that had been involved in crashes over a 20-month period in Virginia Beach, Virginia, to those which had avoided any accidents. Researchers found that marijuana users were 25 times more likely to be in an accident than those who did not use the drug. By comparison, drunk drivers were four times more likely to crash than sober drivers…

Well, that just doesn’t make any sense.  Could the way this agency gathered the information have anything to do with these skewed results?

The NHTSA conducted roadside surveys at 300 sites last year and paid 9,000 drivers for their voluntary and anonymous participation to record rates of drug use and drunk driving.

I’m just not sure how accurate surveys really are…