4/12/2013, 23 Tips For Men on Supporting a Partner with Chronic Pain

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/marriage-20-tips-for-men-on-supporting-a-partner-with-chronic-pain/

1. I think that it is important to think of pain as your common enemy, not as a part of your wife or baggage that comes with her…

Perhaps the words that doctors use (like pain as the “enemy”) should depend on whether their patient is a woman or a man…  (See “Medicine’s military metaphors are counterproductive.”)

4. To avoid a pain-storm, be on the look-out for non-verbal clues of increased pain…

What a great term:  pain storm.  I love it.

8. One of my early ways of dealing with my wife’s chronic pain was to encourage my wife not to do things that caused her pain. Then I realized that if she avoided all activities that caused her pain, she would never do anything…

So true.

10. The key thing to remember is that pain builds even while you are managing to ignore it. The longer your wife is in pain, the more of it she experiences and the less she can block it out…

Man, this guy really knows his wife — and how to deal with her chronic pain.  It’s so sweet 🙂

7. Doctors are not prescribing real pain medication that much anymore, so you may be tempted to skip doses during the early days if she is feeling better. I do not encourage this. It takes twice as [much] pain medication to get a person out of a pain storm as it does to prevent the storm from happening.

9. I hope that you do not reach a place of un-managed pain, but if you do, here are some tricks that I have learned for helping a person get through the worst part of a pain storm. What you want to do is temporarily flood her nerves with other novel sensations that make it harder for her brain to record all of the pain signals. You have to change the sensation at least every twenty seconds for it to have any impact.

Is this guy a neurologist (or a saint)? Impressive.

About Pete Beisner:  Pete Beisner is a father, husband and veteran who works in the field of information technology. He has a bachelor’s degree, two master’s degrees and hates writing.

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